Kellaway, Tomkins, Skapinker and Sanghera

No, it's not a law firm in New York City, nor is it a venture capital powerhouse on Sand Hill Road in the Valley.

But these names do represent capital of a different, even more valuable nature: intellectual capital.

The Financial Times is currently renting their collective services.

In order, then:

Lucy Kellaway

Richard Tomkins

Michael Skapinker

Sathnam Sanghera

They're four premier weekly columnists for the "pink paper" (here in the U.S., whenever I'm reading it in public, people come up to me and ask, "how come that paper's pink?" I still haven't found a smarty-pants answer I like, so I tell them what I think is the truth: to set it apart from all the others. But I could be wrong, and I'm sure a joehead out there will set me straight shortly. But I digress).

Andrew Gowers, the editor of The Financial Times, is on my Rolodex and returns my emails: I'm sure he realizes that only by the grace of God does he retain the services of this British "Gang of Four."

They are among the paper's most precious (brace yourself, Lucy: here it comes; in fact, better squeeze your eyes wide shut) "intellectual and spiritual DNA."

Oh, that truly is a dreadful term, isn't it?

I take it back.

Now, where was I?

Oh, yeah.

The value of the four columnists of the (erstwhile?) financial apocalypse.

These people are not chopped liver.

No matter how much money they're being paid - and it better be plenty, or else I'll show up at the next annual meeting with my posse and make a huge stink - it's not close to enough.

Because they cannot be replaced.

Not in your most relaxed, hypnosis-assisted dream.

You cannot go out and get someone to replace Shaq if he gets hurt; James Pinkston and L.J. Smith are fine receivers, but without T.O. we all know the Eagles are going down in Jacksonville. But I digress once more, don't I?

What, do you imagine you're gonna wander around Croydon and find a replacement for Kellaway?

I don't think so.

Give these superstars what they deserve.

I think doubling their salaries, retroactive to January 1 of this year, would be a start.

Sure hope I don't get 'em into trouble: that tends to happen with people who associate with me.