GuardDog™ Watch

Don't bother with the tricked-out offerings from Dior and Chanel.

This watch is what's gonna be strutting down the runways in Milan this spring.

"The junkyard dog of watches" is what the website calls it.

You "clip it on to your tool or regular belt, or anywhere you need quick access to time."

That phrase - "quick access to time" - will be the slogan for TimeTravelSolutions when that company emerges toward the end of this century. But I digress. I mean, none of us are gonna around then, anyway.

Unless... no, now's not the time... for that.

I hate it when you tease me like this.

Is that what you're thinking?

But I digress once more, don't I?

Well, Jacqueline Susann did call her megabestseller "Once Is Not Enough," didn't she?

Oh, she wasn't talking about digressions, was she? But I....

Anyway.

"The GuardDog™ watch folds face-first into a totally bomb-proof 100% thermoplastic elastomeric housing."

"Great for all working trades, factory workers, outdoorsmen, Harley-riders, and tough guys."

That's you, girlfriend.