"Hulls to Blame for 'Old Maids'"

Above, the headline of Guy Gugliotta's story in today's Washington Post about the apparent solution of one of life's enduring mysteries: "Why is it that whenever you make popcorn there are always unpopped kernels left at the bottom of the bowl or bag at the movies – the ones that stick in your throat, plug up your teeth and pop your fillings?"

Purdue University's Rengaswami Chandrasekaran along with a high-powered, eye-poppingly powerful team of his school's finest minds led an assault against this seemingly impregnable problem.

In research scheduled to appear in the July 11 edition of the journal Biomacromolecules,

the group, led by food chemist Bruce Hamaker of Purdue's Whistler Center for Carbohydrate Research, analyzed 14 varieties of microwaveable popcorn to determine what causes the die-hard leftovers, known as "old maids."

They found that the number of unpopped kernels ranged from 4% to 47%.

Memo to file: find out which brand was 4% and get some.

The key "popability" (sounds awfully similar to papabile, doesn't it? No blasphemy intended, just an observation) factor, it turns out, is the kernel's cellulose hull, known as the pericarp.

Chandrasekaran, a crystallographer, found that the pericarp in the better performers had a stronger crystalline structure than the pericarp in the losers.

"With a better organized crystal structure, the kernel retains moisture better," Chandrasekaran said in a telephone interview with the Post's Gugliotta.

The kernel swells as it heats up, until it finally explodes, creating popcorn.

Gugliotta wrote, "If the moisture leaks out prematurely, or the pericarp collapses, the pressure will not build, and the frustrated consumer is left with old maids."

Now we come to the good part.

Wherein bookofjoe reveals one of his closely-held secrets.

This one is about how to make the world's best microwave popcorn — for pennies a bowl.

I came across this wonderful recipe in the Washington Post Food section of December 10, 2003, in an item by Jeanne McManus entitled "New Wave Popcorn."

Here it is, in its exquisitely simple, perfect entirety:

1) Get a brown paper lunch bag and open it so it sits flat

2) Get some popcorn

3) Put enough popcorn in to just cover the flattened bottom of the bag

4) Close the top of the bag and fold it over three times

5) Place in the microwave for 3 minutes or so, until the sound of popping stops

I like Orville Redenbacher's Original Gourmet Popping Corn myself.

What you will get is popcorn as good or better than any you have ever had in your life.

And that's all I have to say about that.