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May 27, 2005
Toilet in a Suitcase
"Same dimensions as the one you use at home!"
Why should you have to squat over a hole or use the foul facilities in roadside rest stops or gas stations when you can pull out this handy portable case and transform it into a superb place of contemplation wherever in the world you happen to be?
$115.95 here with free ground shipping (toilet paper not included).
Marcel Duchamp, please call your office: your facility is ready.
May 27, 2005 at 01:01 PM | Permalink
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Back in 1964 when I was eleven years old, I had a dream about being at a party at the neighbors' house, and I had to poop. So I was directed back to this bedroom that had a suitcase in it. This was to be my toilet.
There was no door on the bedroom--just a security gate for toddlers.
As I was sitting there doing my business, this middle-aged man wanders by. He stands in the doorway staring in at me.
I was reminded of this song by the Beatles in which George Harrison sang the lead, and my response to him was its title: Don't bother me!
The guy trains his vision on more private parts, and I cover them up with my hands.
Getting a kick out of my embarrassment, I assume, he gives this sinister laugh:
BLAaaaH-ha-ha-ha-HAaaaaaaH!
Thankfully, he wanders on to do whatever elsewhere.
I clean up and flush the toilet/suitcase by pulling on one of its fasteners. Of course, nothing happens, and I just have a suitcase with poop in it.
The annoying man comes back--this time, wandering into the room and looking in the suitcase.
"Don't you know you aren't supposed to use the toilet in a suitcase!?!" he scolds. "See? It doesn't go down!"
He ended up asking me, "Are your folks here?" I guess he was going to rat on me or something, even though I had been led to this strange toilet by the youngest daughter in the family (a grade ahead of me in school).
I then shifted to another dream.
In this dream, I was feeling queasy, and so was this one boy in the dream, so we were both led over by this bathtub in case we needed to throw up.
This grown-up in the dream suggested that I should sing something pretty, and that might take our minds off our upset stomachs so that we wouldn't throw up.
So, I started singing Silent Night (I had this dream in the spring instead of close to Christmas), and I woke up lying in bed and singing Silent Night.
I would later discover that I was mildly-constipated, even though everything came out perfectly later that evening.
But it's pretty cool that there's actually a product out that's a suitcase with a toilet in it!
Posted by: Ainsley Jo Phillips | Jun 22, 2006 10:32:30 PM
