bookofjoeTV imminent?

What's this?

Not yet another hallucination from my fevered mind?

No, it's today's USA Today headline over a story by Jefferson Graham about the rumored video iPod, said to be in the works and unveiled possibly as soon as next Tuesday, October 11 at a media event in San Jose for which Apple yesterday sent out invitations.

Mine must still be in the mail.

I'm telling you, this Graham guy is really starting to get on my nerves, with his apparent unrestricted access to my tightly–guarded Kool–Aid stash.

Anyway, here at bookofjoe headquarters the excitement is palpable: I can even feel my pulse if I hold real still.

Speaking of which, the arrival of bookofjoeTV — whether it's next week or next year or in the next century — is going to require a major hiring spree here to keep up with the demands of being all things to all people.

You can't even imagine. But I digress.

We're now accepting applications.

The only job requirement is that you be able to fog a mirror on demand.

Please do not waste our time if you do not meet this requirement.

We are very, very busy (true, doing something close to nothing — but at least it's different from the day before) and don't have time for foolishness or nonsense that does not contribute to our mission.

What's our mission?

Go away.

A side note: why is it that newspapers insist on calling the iPod the "IPod" in headlines like the one above?

Would they call e e cummings "E. E. Cummings?"

Apparently.

I've written Bill Keller, the executive editor of the New York Times and Barney Calame, the paper's ombudsman, on several occasions regarding this practice but have received the customary New York Times response: no response.

I'm reminded of a great line from the book "Psychocybernetics," by Maxwell Maltz: "The best response is no response."

Clearly the Times considers this book a seminal and authoritative text.

Oh, yeah, one last thing: before you email me to point out that the USA Today story pictured above is dated 10/04/2005, having been updated at 8:40 p.m. last evening, consider that I report on what comes in over the transom in the form of the printed paper that appears each weekday morning in my box.

That's my source and that's why I wrote above that the iPod news appears in today's paper.

Now go bother someone else before I do something I won't regret.