BehindTheMedspeak: Plumb Bum Self–Leveling Toilet Seat

Occasionally BehindTheMedspeak ranges beyond its usual in–the–news topics and takes a look at subjects not ordinarily touched on in everyday print publications.

For example, the toilet seat.

From the Elseware website:

Swedish scientists have discovered that a level toilet seat promotes healthier, more efficient bowel movements.

This seat [above] comes complete with leveling gauges and feet to insure that it is perfectly flat.

You know, I almost — almost — don't have anything to add to what you've just read.

I'm very tempted — very — to just end it here and move on to the next post.

But I simply can't.

Yes, you know me too well: you knew, didn't you, that I wouldn't be able to leave it alone?

Anyway.

The Plumb Bum was designed by Oliver Beckert.

If you want one contact him (oliver@elseware.to), not me.

Onward, then.

First off, have you ever noticed that when the phrase "scientists have discovered" or its equivalent appears in the introduction to a product or system or technique more often than not the scientists are Swedish?

Why is that?

What makes vetting by Swedish scientists — who, last time I looked, haven't won any Nobel Prizes or anything else big–time in the scientific arena for many years — so validating?

Second, let me digress for just a moment from the topic of a level toilet seat to what I believe is a factor far more significant as regards bowel evacuation efficiency (BEE — it's a new acronym, just coined here — in case you were wondering).

Back when I lived in Japan I learned a very important thing about BEE: gravity can be your friend.

True, it can also be your enemy but let's not be haters, O.K.?

When I read somewhere, long since lost in the haze of the distant past, that aligning the distal portion of the large intestine in as vertical an orientation as possible enabled gravity to exert its effect most efficiently, well, the... penny dropped.

Yes, in case you were wondering: I was tempted.

But I digress.

When I am at home I place my feet on a small bench (above and below),

whose top is precisely 8 inches off the ground, when doing my business.

I have two identical such benches, purchased at a local crafts fair many years ago and still perfectly functional.

With their help my BEE is, I believe, at its optimal level.

Besides which it's very comfortable to sit there with these nice wooden footrests, whether or not I'm barefoot.

[via AW]