bookofjoe

Tiffany Shows How To Advertise

Simple and elegant and oh so powerfully effective.

The ad above occupied the lower third of page three of last Sunday's New York Times Styles section.

Would that others would take a ride on the cluetrain.

Strap–On Bottle Opener

"New and improved!"

From the website:

The Strap–On Bottle Opener

Ideal for bartenders who open a lot of bottled beer.



Keeps your fingers free to count $$$ or ring the register.

Curved shape fits comfortably in one's hand.

Available in two sizes: Male ("larger strap") and Female.

$1.45 here.

MorphWorld: Pulitzer Prize–Winning Author Taylor Branch into 'Neutron' Jack Welch

The penny dropped yesterday when, on the front page of today's USA Today Life section, I espied the photo above of Branch, which accompanied a story about "At Canaan's Edge," the just–published final book in his monumental trilogy (2,849 pages total) about the U.S. civil rights movement.

Branch (below)

is 58 while Welch is all of 70.

I guess those golden parachutes really do help cushion the blows.

Jack Welch (below)

needs no introduction: somehow he's avoided becoming a laughingstock even though his own messy personal life in recent years directly contradicts what he professes (for $100,000 and up for a 45–minute talk) to be "The G.E. Way" of doing things.

Melon Ease

No, not a Barcalounger for the honeydew.

Rather, it's a kind of medieval–looking device (yes, I know they didn't have plastic and stainless steel back then but jeez, cut me a little slack along with my cantaloupe here, will ya?) that will do wonderful things with your melons if you give it the chance.

From the website:

Slice fresh melons with ease, using this time-saver!

Simply cut melon in half, remove seeds, push Melon Ease down into center and turn the easy–grip handle.

In seconds you'll have perfect slices to serve, add to salads or enjoy as a snack!

Plastic and stainless steel.

Dishwasher safe.

6.5"H x 5.75"D.

$14.99 here.

Here's a joke I made up back in junior high (Steuben, in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, if you must know):

Q. How do you characterize a couple who are compelled to marry in an elaborate ceremony?

A. Can't elope.

walkingwhileworking.com

It's hot and I'm not.

So what, you say — that's not exactly what you'd call news.

Let's not bicker.

Thomas Niccum, whose software development business (Lancet Software Development) creates websites (several hundred to date), among other things, is the latest convertee to the new religion of walking while working.

He was so inspired by the cult's guru — Dr. James Levine (top) of the Mayo Clinic, a nice, unassuming man who had no idea that by simply doing his clinical research and then reporting it in the medical literature he'd unleash a juggernaut of epic proportions — that not only did he (Thomas) go out and buy himself a treadmill and then fashion a desk around it (below),

he purchased the domain name walkingwhileworking.com to spread the gospel.

He said it occurred to him while he was musing about the wildly popular site cryingwhileeating.com.

Then he happened on that squidoo.com post here of this past Monday and before you could say Bob's your uncle, he'd created a squidoo lens for walkingwhileworking.

But wait — it gets better.

On day two of its existence (yesterday) the walkingwhileworking lens, which contains everything he's been able to gather about the subject — Dr. Levine's work and links to his papers, links to my posts, Tom's posts, where to buy treadmills and the necessary add–ons, tips on creating your own treadmill–centered office or workspace, photos, any and all related resources, you name it — reached #1,031 in squidoo's ranking of its over 11,000 lenses.

Just now I wandered over there to see what's new and was delighted to see the lens had jumped overnight to #437 — with a bullet.

w00t!

Dr. Levine has graciously agreed to provide a handy jumpstart guide entitled something like "How to build your own walking computer desk with a screwdriver — for $50."

This baby's got legs.

I will state here that my life in all respects has been markedly better since I lifted my lazy butt out of my Hans Wegner peacock chair and started walking on my treadmill while creating bookofjoe, reading, watching TV (you'll see the new audiovisual additions in Version 2.0, currently in beta) and whatnot.

I look for Dr. Levine to be on Oprah in the not–too–distant future, walking with her on side–by–side treadmills while she interviews him.

Treadmill workers of the world — unite!

Hermès Pencil

Wrapped in sheep hide.

Maybe not the world's best but most likely the world's most expensive.

¥5700 ($50) here.

[via seihin-world]

I Do Not Know — by E. M. Cioran

I do not know what is right and what is wrong; what is allowed and what is not; I cannot judge and I cannot praise. There are no valid criteria and no consistent principles in the world. It surprises me that some people still concern themselves with a theory of knowledge. To tell the truth, I couldn't care less about the relativity of knowledge, simply because the world does not deserve to be known. At times I feel as if I had total knowledge, exhausting the content of this world; at other times the world around me does not make any sense. Everything then has a bitter taste, there is in me a devilish, monstrous bitterness that renders even death insipid. I realize now for the first time how hard it is to define this bitterness. It may be that I'm wasting my time trying to establish a theoretical basis for it when in fact it originates in a pretheoretical zone. At this moment I do not believe in anything and I have no hope. All forms and expressions that give life its charm seem to me meaningless. I have no feeling either for the future or for the past, while the present seems to me poison. I do not know whether I am desperate or not, since lack of hope does not automatically imply despair. I could be called anything because I stand to lose nothing. I've lost everything! Flowers are blooming and birds are singing all around me! How distant I am from everything!

Ultra–Long Handle (24") Wooden Spoon

Thank goodness my mother didn't have one of these is all I've got to say....

"When stirring soups and stocks in your large stockpots, average mixing spoons often do not reach the bottom."

"This beechwood stock pot spoon is extra long to reach the bottom of most pots, assuring the complete mixing of all ingredients."

$6.99 here.