A simple idea that will sell lots of televisions for the company that gets there first

Why is it that no matter what size and shape and quality TV you have — flat–screen plasma or LCD, DLP, old–fashioned cathode ray tube — when you watch a movie on DVD you're stuck with those black bars either above and below the picture or to the sides?

You'd think that when a person drops $20,000 on a TV there'd be some provision to eliminate the black bars beyond contorting the picture to try and fill the screen.

But there isn't.

I find this fascinating.

Because the solution is so simple, relatively low–tech, and obvious.

Perhaps that's why it hasn't happened yet.

Instead we've got Philips investing hundreds of millions of dollars in its D.O.A. Ambilight technology, which projects constantly changing colored light out onto the wall behind the TV to match that onscreen.

Pardon me, but if I want my walls to change colors while I watch TV I'll buy a trippy projector and pretend it's the 60s.

Here, watch a demo and see what you think.

I'd pay extra to have the feature disabled.

Gimme a break.

It's almost enough to get me back into movie theaters.

Almost.

Anyhow, I suppose now you're getting bored and figuring I've forgotten why we're all gathered here.

Wrong.

I remember very well what this post is supposed to be about.

The new comic book character stamps from the U.S. Postal Service... right?

No?

Erm.

Oh, yeah, my big idea to eliminate the black bars — now I remember.

Well, here's what to do: forget about resizing the picture and all: leave the picture alone.

It is what it is, as they say.

And as long as some movies are issued as widescreen DVDs and some aren't; as long as the picture ratios vary from 1.85:1 to 2.0:1 to 2.35:1, there's never gonna be a single screen size proportional to all films as produced.

So here's my idea: integrate movable screen borders into the frame of the TV.

They could be manual but most likely would be motorized.

You'd simply have them move right up to the edges of your picture, looking not like an afterthought but, rather, like an integrated part of the TV's frame.

So simple, really.

In principle akin to those things that you use to make a window air conditioner fit snugly.

So who's gonna take this idea and make it happen?

Give me a holler when you do 'cause I want to buy your TV.

No, you don't have to say where you got the idea: pretend it's yours.

That's how we do bizness here at Bizarro World Charlottesville Headquarters.