Cordless Patio Umbrella LED Lights

From the website:

Cordless Patio Umbrella LED Lights

These lights make it easy to set a festive mood — no access to an electrical outlet needed.

Shines bright — yet doesn't attract insects.

Fits standard 8-rib umbrella canopies.

64 clear, long-lasting LED bulbs.

Requires four D batteries.

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Such a great idea yet hamstrung esthetically by that dippy wire running from the white battery case up to the lights.

Perhaps you could put that thingie up above the hub where the ribs attach to the pole so it wouldn't be as obtrusive.

$69.98 (batteries not included).

And who among you will be the first to seize the carp — wait a minute, that's not right... is it? — and mashup a mashup?

You know what I'm talkin' 'bout: I wanna see a pic of that redoubtable Patio Umbrella Mosquito Net (below)

being used in conjunction with these lights.

You know how the tabloids are always bragging about their willingness to pay a million dollars for the first pictures of Paris Hilton and Eminem's love child — ha, fooled ya! — and all?

Well, let me state here and now, in no uncertain terms, that I will pay 25¢ (twenty-five cents) cash money for the first un-Photoshopped picture received of that dream combo (net + umbrella + lights; not Paris and Eminem, for cryin' out loud).

Send those to the Star or the Enquirer, booboo.