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August 27, 2006
How to improve your life: results guaranteed — or your money back
This one emerged fully developed from my febrile brain a few days ago but I just remembered I'd meant to mention it here.
Something I didn't understand very well when I was younger — say 14 or so — but have come to appreciate over the years is the power of doing nothing.
But only when that's the right thing to do.
Or not do — depending on your point of you.
View?
But if I wanted to debate points of view or semantics, what am I doing here?
This is way off-topic as regards bookofjoe.
Isn't it?
It's not?
Oh, OK.
Well.
I am a very decisive person.
So when I receive something in the mail that sets me off, making me angry, annoyed or irritated, my default reaction is to respond immediately.
Yet I have come to realize that I always — always — get a better result if I do nothing until I've slept on it.
The next day that powerful reaction's gone and I can consider what's the best way to achieve my goal.
Again: never, ever respond the same day.
Let it ride.
Guaranteed to improve the quality of your life.
Or I will, as always, cheerfully refund every penny you paid for this advice which, after all, is probably worth every penny you paid for it.
August 27, 2006 at 04:01 PM | Permalink
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Comments
As a person that has suppressed anger very well in my early years, I can tell you one thing. Let years go by before you do anything that might resemble rash or harsh. That way when you do go crazy everyone will think you really are. No don't listen to that either. Anger comes in different forms for different people. What makes you angry might make me laugh? Vice versa even.
Actually it's best to pick and choose what will make you angry. Because after awhile nothing will get to you. I promise. I think the hurt lasts longer than the anger. Oh well..just a few rash thoughts here. I didn't get to sleep on this one darn it. =)) I have noticed that when I have that feeling of being MAD...I calmly walk away Or go for a walk even. Listen to music. Change the scenery. Oh and I know for men it's kind of hard but this does work for me...(female) I cry. I just walk and cry it gets it out of me that way. Then after about fifteen minutes of doing that(oh and be by yourself when you do that. Because other ppl do not want to see you bawl. No matter how much they love you they still cannot handle it when someone they care about cries). And if needed a I'm sorry seems to do the trick once in awhile too.
Posted by: Rhonda | Aug 28, 2006 11:43:17 AM
But sometimes its fun to get mad AND to interact. The problem with the internet, however, is that folks do not see honest debate as anything but hostile. The imediate reaction you have when experiencing something is probably your most honest and least censored reaction you can have. Beyond this, you start to doubt your own arguements and go for a more palletable but weaker argument. Again, most people look at this as hostile...and I know on my own website people take a good deal of my comments as hostile. But they aren't -- they are intended to be a means of fostering honest communication. Sadly, we are trained from our youth that this is wrong and we should all get along.
At the same time, you echo a good deal of what Malcom Gladwell does in his later chapters in Blink. He argues that a lot of hostile action and ill will come directly from being able to interact immediately. And I have to agree. His arguments go on to the idea that today police officers are increasingly being forced to patrol alone and if need be, call for reinforcements. His argument goes on to say that a single police officer will be far more polite and not let hosilities escalate because the odds are not as overwhelming on his side as if he had a compatriot. Cases that would have lead to physicality do not and if the need for backup arises, assess the situation from a perspective that doesn't lead to tunnel vision with only bad outcomes (regardless)...and help is rarely more than a minute away and proper training should always allow the officer to remain out of harms way while waiting it out.
The point being, there isn't a problem with reacting to a situation and reacting to it honestly. At the same time, taking a breath and walking away for a moment to more accurately assess it isn't a bad idea either (so long as you still address the needs in the most effective manner afterwards).
Posted by: clifyt | Aug 27, 2006 6:17:51 PM
