'Port-O-Jet — World's Only Jet-Powered Outhouse — To Attempt World Speed Record'

That's right — you read correctly.

The big event takes place tomorrow night, Saturday, August 19 at The Dirt Track at Lowe's Motor Speedway in Charlotte, North Carolina.

Long story short: "One of the most unique vehicles on four wheels [above], the standard-size portable toilet — which began life as a Country Classic model from Wisconsin-based Hampel Corporation — has been fitted with a Boeing jet engine and is capable of straight-line speeds approaching 50 mph."

Be there.

I know I will.

"Burn off that quarter-mile" doesn't begin to do this justice.

Paul Stender designed and was the first driver of the mighty john, which made its debut at the very same Lowe's Dirt Track in 2002.

Since that time it's been tricked out and is now piloted by Mike Terry of Bloomington, Indiana.

Can't hardly wait until he assumes the position.

Wait a minute....

And I sure hope they had the foresight to get Cedric the Entertainer to shoot off the starting gun.

That Budweiser commercial where he leans against the Port-A-John —while his babe's inside taking a whizz — only to see it teeter and then go tumbling down a hillside with her inside, is a classic.