Energi To Go Instant Cell Phone Charger: Energizer Bunny stops banging his drum long enough to smell the coffee — and the long green

I couldn't figure out last year how it was that all these fancy-shmancy catalogs were offering a nifty new cellphone accessory called Charge2Go (below)

that let you power up instantly with a regular old AA battery via a special accessory cord that converted the battery's power into a form the cellphone could use — sold along with a zillion different "smart tips" for various makes of cellphones so you could use the thing with any phone.

Where were the battery companies?

It was like Gillette offering Fusion Power razor blades and letting someone else sell the razor — ain't gonna happen anytime soon.

A better analogy, perhaps: Apple's iTunes working perfectly with any MP3 player instead of only the iPod.

Not likely, eh?

Not when the iPod accounts for 40% of Apple's profit.

But I digress.

Energizer announced in June of this year that they'd picked up the clue phone and were going to market their own little power booster (below)

starting today.

Kelvin Belle, senior product manager for Energizer, told Red Herring back in June, in response to the question, "Why so late?," that "Energi To Go chargers didn’t come out earlier because Energizer needed time to develop its smart tip technology, which optimizes the power transfer from the battery to the charger."

Red Herring wrote, "Still, even if it’s late to the game, Energizer has the advantage of national distribution, and that means users can go on trips knowing they can buy the products on their way and refill the batteries anywhere, according to Mr. Belle."

"'Most of the alternatives don’t have national distribution,' he said. "You have to get them from catalog sales.'"

Hey — is there an echo in here?

No way was Mr. Belle gonna confess that, "Hey, we were busy doing something close 2 nothing, but different from the day before," in an honest answer to how it was that Energizer missed the boat.

Erm, train.

Phone?

Today's papers are replete with full-page color ads for Energi To Go, noting that it's available at stores everywhere.

That's good.

Because if you try to find one online, say at Best Buy, where the device (including two batteries) sells for $19.99, you'll see in the fine print, "Back-ordered. Usually leaves our warehouse within 1-2 weeks."

Huh.

Say what you will about the catalog iterations, which are much sharper looking, what with their anodized aluminum cases in a variety of colors —

they're available today ($21.95 here) as opposed to being vaporware.

Now comes the audience participation portion of our program.

Look carefully at the photo leading this post.

What do you see?

I see a stupid piece of design: I mean, the Energi To Go charger is almost as big as the phone!

poor, Poorer, POOREST.

Here's today's million-dollar idea from the bookofjoe skunk works: design a cell phone that allows you to use a AA — or AAA — battery for power by simply attaching it to a built-in port on the phone — without a cord or extra accessory.

Hey, what's that sound?

Is that "ka-ching, ka-ching" I hear playing in the distance?

I would not be completely gobsmacked should the new Apple-Google iPhone have such a capability.

Uh-oh... here comes trouble....

What's that music I hear in the distance... wait a minute... is that the Cupertino-Mountain View High-Steppin' LawyerBot Marching Band?

Yesssss!!!!