bookofjoe

We get email: From the great designer Marcel Wanders

Just in, 27 minutes ago.

He wrote:

Thanks for your kind piece of writing, I love marks of life myself, some time ago I wrote the following text about a series of bags I designed:
...........

One day I woke up early and saw pink imprints in my face, because I gave myself the time to look at them.

I saw the "footprint" of a good sleep and the cleansing massage of a soft pillow.

In these temporary scars I saw the revitalisation of my sleeping body, revealing cryptic messages of my secret dreams.

I understood each wrinkle I gain is a sign of wisdom and should be treasured, as is the wisdom it represents and contains.

Each line in my hand resonates in my life, is mine, and represents parts of who I am.

Each line in my face resonates in my life and represents parts of who I have become.

We still wonder about the why's and how's of crop circles.

I wonder if we will ever understand the slightest of the great puzzle life makes for us on our own skin on a constant basis.

I want these wrinkly Murano bags to contain your wisdom, contain parts of your life, and in the future parts of who you will become.

I want you fo finish my project and fill these bags with your wrinkles, your life, your puzzle.

T'Ga je goed!

marcel

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Besides being as lyrical and open to possibility and the contingent as his work, that's the most powerful argument against cosmetic surgery I've ever come across.

It really is true, then, what they say: only the very coolest people on the planet visit here.

It Takes 2 — Binary Clock

"One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do."

"Who knows where the time goes?"

Enough already — cut to the website.

Okay.

Binary Code Wall Clock

Keep 'em guessing the time with this fun wall clock — the hour marks are denoted by their binary code equivalent.

Black poly frame complements any décor.

Requires 1 AA battery (included).

Approximately 10" diameter.

$39.99.

The best compliment I've received this month:

"I see so many great things on 'Book of Joe' that I've started putting my wallet in the safe before surfing over to his site."

From Treppenwitz, David Bogner's blog, earlier today.

w00t!

Drink Your Crayons — Crayola Color Coolerz have arrived

Talk about brand extension.

Ron Lieber reviewed this new drink in the November 2, 2006 Wall Street Journal as follows:

"Very tart, extremely sweet and neon-colored; kids may love it but it will remind adults of summer-camp bug juice."

In Screamin' Green (Lemon-Lime; above), Purple Pizzazz (Grape) and Berry Blue.

Sellaband.com — Get into the music business for $10

That's right.

Sellaband.com is a Dutch website which lets you invest as little as $10 in an act, and acquire an ownership stake with benefits: a free copy of their first CD (if they ever get to that point); a share of CD sales; and a piece of the advertising revenue generated for the website by your band.

There's only one small catch: the band has to attract a total of $50,000 to enable it to gain access to a recording studio and professional production, songwriting and marketing .

Lawrence Van Gelder wrote about the Amsterdam-based company in a short item in his "Arts, Briefly" column in the November 3 New York Times.

Barber Magic Trim-A-Pet and Barber Magic

Say what?

From the website:

Barber Magic Trim-A-Pet™ Precision Pet Grooming Appliance

Give your pet the perfect haircut with this safe, easy-to-use precision trimmer.

Just adjust the blade for the proper length and this precision pet grooming tool will trim, taper and style any length hair just like a pro.

Quickly gets out burrs, mats and tangles, too.

Ideal for dogs, cats, horses and other long-haired pets.

No batteries or electricity needed.

No frightening noise or vibrations ensures safe pet care.

$6.99.

From the same website comes the human iteration (below) — notice any similarity?

Here's the description:

Barber Magic

Now you can give yourself and your family a safe, easy haircut at home.

Just adjust the blade for the proper length and this precision haircutting tool will trim, taper and style any length hair like a pro!

Ideal for men and women, it will save you hundreds of dollars a year on expensive haircuts.

Made of durable stainless steel to last a lifetime.

No batteries or electricity needed.

$12.99.

Tell you what: order the Trim-A-Pet, try it and if you're not satisfied with your (human) haircut, let me know and I'll refund every penny you paid.

How's that for a deal?

Could you pass China's driving test? Sample questions follow

Elizabeth Williamson, in an October 5, 2006 story in the Washington Post, noted that getting a driver's license in China is no easy task.

Here's the article.

Driving Them Crazy

You are motoring down a stretch of Chinese highway outside Chengdu, when, glancing at the side-view mirror of your Xiali 2000, you notice flames shooting from your gas tank.

Quick — do you:

a. Strip off your cotton clothing and use it to smother the flames.

b. Toss water on the blaze.

c. Dig out your trusty carbon-dioxide fire extinguisher.

d. Call the U.S. Embassy for help.

The answer is definitely not (d). Only a handful of the hundreds of U.S. diplomats posted in China, we're told, (and none in the Chengdu consulate) have passed the Chinese driving exam, from which the slightly-modified question above is drawn. The "correct" answer, by the way, is (a).

Passing the multiple-choice, 100-question test of mechanical minutiae, oxcart etiquette and, oh yes, the rules of the road, is a must for anyone eager to see the world's third-largest country from behind the wheel. But get more than 10 questions on the computerized test wrong, and the screen lights up with a weepy yellow emoticon and the woeful message: "It is sorry that you do not pass."

China does not recognize international driver's licenses, even for diplomats. And State Department ethics preclude passing the test by slipping a few hundred yuan into the palm of a proctor. That has left our nation's diplomatic corps in an awkward position: on foot.

"The silver lining is, our diplomats get to practice their Chinese with the local taxi drivers," said the State Department employee who alerted The Washington Post to this situation — and who doesn't have a Chinese driver's license, either.

Jian Huali, first secretary at the Chinese Embassy, had no pity for our sweat-hog foreign service officers. "You think this is funny? I don't think they are studying," he said. "Washington has a half-million people. Beijing has 3 million cars.... We need people to be more aware of what they are doing on the street.

"Ninety-five percent of Chinese can pass the test. I passed with only one question wrong."

Well. It seemed only fair to test Jian Huali with three sample questions. Wrong, wrong and wrong.

"If you asked me in Chinese, I could do better," he said. "Also, I haven't been in China for four years.... The traffic regulations change every day."

Then he asked: "Are you going to put my name in the paper and say I have gotten three questions wrong?"

The correct answer is yes

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Up top are unedited questions and answers from China's "Road Traffic Safety Rules and Regulations, Exam Reference Manual (2004 edition)," English-language version.

Circuitry Earrings

From the website:

Adorn yourself with articles from our civilization

One-of-a-kind earrings add a finishing touch to any wardrobe.

These earrings are truly unique — each is made from a recycled circuit board!

Truly the jewelry for our times.

Classic design complements dressy as well as casual apparel.

Approx. 1" long with stainless steel ear wires.

....................

"I said be careful his bowtie is really a camera."

Green or Black — [party like it's] $19.99.