'Bonus — Digital MP3 Player!'

What's wrong with the headline above, which I saw just on TV in a commercial flogging ESPN's magazine?

Well, let's see: have you ever seen an analog MP3 player?

What's MP3 stand for, anyway, joe?

File this one under "free gift," still my all-time favorite nonsense phrase.

Because isn't a gift — by definition — free?

Last year I wrote a nice letter to The Economist pointing out that they, who certainly of all people should be exquisitely attuned to proper use of the Queen's English — were (incorrectly) using the phrase "free gift" throughout their newspaper to entice people to subscribe.

Radio silence is the polite phrase for what ensued.