bookofjoe

Milli Vanilli: The Movie

Ooh, ooh, ooh I love you....

But I digress.

Just in Friday, February 16, 2007, as reported by Lawrence Van Gelder in his "Arts, Briefly" column in the New York Times, the news that a movie telling the tale of the rise, crash and burn of Milli Vanilli has just been greenlighted.

Well, at least the screenplay's been contracted for.

The item follows.

No Kidding: Milli Vanilli, the Movie

Milli Vanilli will sing again. The pop duo that topped the charts before it was exposed as a fraud will be the subject of a film to be written for Universal Pictures by Jeff Nathanson, who rendered a sympathetic portrait of a con man with his screenplay for Steven Spielberg’s “Catch Me If You Can” (2002), Variety.com reported. In case anyone has forgotten, Fabrice Morvan and Rob Pilatus were hired by the German producer Frank Farian to front Milli Vanilli, for which he had already recorded the voices of other singers. After the two men topped the charts and sold millions of records, Mr. Morvan and Mr. Pilatus refused to promote the second album unless Mr. Farian allowed them to sing. Instead he exposed the fraud. Their 1990 Grammy for best new artist was revoked, class-action lawsuits were filed, and Arista Records dropped Milli Vanilli. Mr. Pilatus became a drug abuser, served time for robbery and died of an overdose in 1998 before a reunion album could be released. “I’ve always been fascinated by the notion of fakes and frauds,” Mr. Nathanson said. “But my intention is to tell this story from their point of view.”

1-Touch Any-Media iPod Uploader

Definitely above my TechnoDolt™ pay grade, but maybe not yours.

From the website:

One-Touch Any-Media iPod Uploader

This device, the first of its kind, transfers any type of video or audio, including cassette tapes, vinyl records, television shows and VHS tapes, directly to an iPod at the touch of a button.

The device allows you to preserve your audio and video memories without having to rely on a conversion service or risk long-term damage to the original medium, and no computer or special software is required.

The converter plugs into any audio or video device equipped with RCA connections and S-Video (standard on nearly all A/V components) with its included audio/video cables.

Simply push the record button and content is converted to digital MP3 (audio) or MPEG4 (video) format — three hours of 320 x 240 resolution video content takes up approximately 1 GB — and stored immediately on an iPod (video iPod required for video content).

Data can also be uploaded to a USB flash drive or USB hard drive plugged into the converter's USB port — it automatically detects whether an iPod or USB key has been attached.

Plugs into AC.

$199.95.

One good reason to live in New York City: McDonald's delivers

"If you are too busy or too tired to stroll by you can have your Happy Meal, or whatever else you fancy, delivered: just call 212-337-FAST [3278], from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m., seven days a week in most of Manhattan."

Huh.

I had my crack research team investigate further: turns out I'm so out of the loop it's pathetic.

Countries around the world have had McDonald's delivery for years, including (pictured from the top down) Egypt, the Philippines and Guatemala.

Dios mio — estoy un burro!

[via Chrystia Freeland's "The A-Train" column in the February 17/18, 2007 Financial Times]

Bottle Opener Shorts

Can your shorts do that?

Didn't think so.

Never again search for that elusive church key.

From the website:

Men's Mojo Shorts with Built-in Bottle Opener

(Bottle) caps off to our new favorite shorts!

Costa Rican beer bottles aren't twist-offs, so the one wearing these shorts was always the most popular guy in the jungle!

But aside from the bottle opener, we also love how Kavu®'s rugged, 10-oz. cotton canvas shorts perform.

With double-needle stitching and riveted stress points for long life, and a 10" inseam for coverage.

Modified climbing-short styling with curved sideseams adds mobility, comfort and better fit.

Pre-washed for softness.

Color: Brown Bear.

Sizes: 32-40 even.

100% cotton.

Washable.

....................

I'm already hearing the howls of protest and dismay from my distaff readers — "Where's the femme iteration?", is what they're screaming.

Hey, don't shoot the messenger, all right?

"Brown Bear."

If you say so.

$48.

What is it?

Answer here this time tomorrow.

Flying Alarm Clock — Puts clocky to shame

Sure, Gauri Nanda is getting well-deserved acclaim for her innovative clocky, the alarm clock that starts rolling as soon as it goes off and forces you out of bed to chase it down and shut it off.

But hey — at least you know it's somewhere down there on the floor.

Not so with this airborne iteration.

From the website:

Flying Alarm Clock

This digital alarm clock launches a rotor into the air that flies around the room as the alarm sounds — flying up to 9 feet in the air — and will not cease ringing until the rotor is returned to the alarm clock base, compelling even the most stubborn sleepers to get out of bed on time.

The alarm clock has a continuous snooze function that rings every seven minutes for an entire hour, an easy-to-read LCD and a six-button control panel for ease of programming.

3-3/4"H x 5-1/2" Diam.

....................

Break a leg.

$39.95.

MorphWorld: Jessica Cutler into Lucy Liu

The erstwhile Washingtonienne (above), still embroiled in a lawsuit brought against her in June, 2005 by Robert Steinbuch, her brain-dead former lover currently a law professor in Arkansas, who fooled around with her and then went ballistic when Cutler unmasked him, didn't exactly knock 'em dead with her first novel, entitled — surprise! — "The Washingtonienne: A Novel."

Eventually it'll become a movie and somebody's got to play her.

Why not Ms. Liu (above)?

Volivik 347 Chandelier — It's amazing what you can do with 347 Bic pens

Madrid-based enPieza has created a lighting exemplar of Lenin's observation, to wit: "Quantity has its own quality."

Don't diddle and piddle and fiddle too long: it's a limited edition of 30 pieces.

In your choice of White, Green, Red, Black (pictured above and below) or Blue.

Made of lacquered steel, 347 Bic ballpoint pens and 347 #2 paper clips, with four standard light bulbs with mirrored tops.

80 cm (31") high x 52 cm (20") wide.

$1,149 (€875; £589).

Inquiries: enpieza@enpieza.com