Spider Spud — A bookofjoe World Exclusive™®: The picture they refuse to let you see

From Tuesday's (February 6, 2007) USA Today item:

Spider-Man will sprout a Spud in March

Spider-Man has yet another humble alter ego: Mr. Potato Head. In a marriage of superheroes and super carbs, the Spider-Man & Friends Spider Spud is leaping into Toy Fair, the annual industry trade show, two years after Hasbro's Darth Tater showed that bad guys could be cute, too. The web-slinging tuber, who will be introduced Friday in New York, comes with Peter Parker paraphernalia for his transformation, including ears, eyes and glasses. Spider Spud will be available in March, two months before his counterpart returns in Spider-Man 3.

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The only place in the virtual world you can see Spider Spud is right here, above.

Hasbro is keeping Spider Spud under wraps until tomorrow's official introduction — security is even heavier than Apple's before one of Steve Jobs's product unveiling extravaganzas.

But my crack research team had other ideas.

So last night I sent them on an all-nighter, deep into the labyrinth of the web — as it were — to find me a picture of Spider Spud so I could bring it to you.

See, the USA Today item in the hard paper version had the photo you espy above — but they omitted in the online story.

So off went my team.

And guess what?

They came back with nothing.

Zero.

Cipher.

Naught.

They're all gone now — fired on the spot.

But I digress.

See, here at bookofjoe World Headquarters™ it's kind of like William Gibson's vision of the future, in a Bizarro World sense, to wit: the technology's not all here, because it's not evenly distributed.

So I have a crummy digital camera, a cheapo Epson printer, no fax, and no scanner.

Anyway, earlier this afternoon the penny dropped — and believe me, when it falls inside my head, there's a lot of reverberation.

But I digress.

joe, why don't you take a picture of Spider Spud and then put it up to lead your post?

Doh.

I called my crack photography team and told 'em to get over here instanter.

The result of their hours of labor appears above, and below in its unedited form, as taken in our alfresco (baby, it's cold outside — 22° on my thermometer right this yoctosecond) studio.

Why is Spider Spud all wrinkled?

Because, if you must know, Mr. Stupid here (don't you ever call me stupid — it's Mr. Stupid to you) crumpled up the page with the picture after I finished reading it Tuesday, then put it outside in the trash.

So a major retrieval operation was required before undertaking the rest of the nonsense above.

And that's all I have to say about that.