bookofjoe

I cost more than Tara Reid

How do I know this to be a fact rather than just another fever dream?

I'm glad you asked.

I was standing in line at Seven-11 the other day paging through People magazine looking for a story about me (so far I haven't found one — but you never know) and happened on a page of items about the comings and goings of various and sundry boldface names.

I was gobsmacked to learn that Tara Reid had recently been in Beirut, Lebanon, clubbing and whatnot.

Beirut?

Tara Reid?

What part of this combination don't I understand?

How about any and all of it, for starters.

I read on and learned that Ms. Reid supplements her income with appearances at various events for cash.

Her standard fee is $15,000 to show up at your gig and drink your champagne and dance to your music.

Her representative was quoted in People as saying she'd received $20,000 to go to Beirut because it's Beirut and all.

Huh.

I can tell you that if you offered me $20,000 in used small bills to go to Beirut to party I'd decline in a Charlottesville yoctosecond.

You gotta be kidding me.

You can get blown up there in a heartbeat — it's a war zone, for crying out loud.

And if I were a celebrity, with all the attention that my being kidnapped or killed would command, I'd be doubly scared of venturing anywhere near.

So that's why I say I'm more expensive than Tara Reid.

Here's more about her Middle Eastern adventure.

Portable Double Towel Bar

You may have noted my fondness for things that require no tools nor holes being drilled, etc.

TechnoDolt™-friendly means that even I can use it without reading the instructions.

This nifty device qualifies nicely.

From the website:

Add An Extra Towel Bar Instantly — No Drilling!

18/8 brushed stainless steel double towel bar slips over the top of any cabinet door, providing 9-1/4"W bars for extra towels.

Won't interfere with opening/closing.

4"H.

$9.99.

Juxtapoz: 'It's actually the only art magazine that I read on a regular basis' — William Gibson

That's all I needed to read, in today's New York Times magazine Q&A with Deborah Solomon, to make my way over to the Juxtapoz website and subscribe.

Just as I jumped on The Economist bandwagon after I read that it was the only periodical Bill Gates reads every word of, Gibson's recommendation is more than good enough for me.

HandFree Plate — Episode 2: Rise of the 'Paper Plate Cup Can Caddy'

That didn't take long, did it?

Episode 1 on August 12, 2007 — just last Sunday — went viral.

Now comes this contender for the title of über-handfree plate.

Two plates enter, one plate leaves.

From the website:

Paper Plate Cup Can Caddy

Carry Paper Plate, Cup 'N Can One-Handed!

No more juggling, no more spills — just one trip thru the buffet line!

Strong, sturdy red plastic Caddy holds a 10¼" paper plate, with a well for your drink plus a side hook to fasten a soda can tab or napkin.

Great for cookouts and parties.

Top rack dishwasher safe.

13-3/8"W x 10"L.

......................

Note: remove paper plate and cup/can before washing.

You can have any color you like — as long as it's red.

8 for $19.99.

WalkScore.com — 'How walkable is your neighborhood?'

Find out here.

TechnoDolt™-friendly — even I can use it.

Here's Kathleen Hom's August 7, 2007 Washington Post article about the site.

Web Site Takes a Pedestrian View

How walkable is your neighborhood? Walkscore.com ranks communities nationwide (and soon, globally) based on how many businesses, parks, theaters, schools and other common destinations are within walking distance of any given starting point.

The site's creators, Matt Lerner, Mike Mathieu and Jesse Kocher, all of Seattle, say they were inspired by the nonprofit Siteline Institute to think of walking not just as a healthful physical activity for an individual but also as mental and social exercise that boosts interactions within a community.

When you enter an address at walkscore.com, a Google map appears, studded with blue icons representing nearby restaurants, stores, schools and parks. A list at the left identifies the mapped destinations and their distance from your starting point. More specific information, such as addresses and phone numbers, is available by clicking on a destination's name.

"Walk scores," displayed above the map, range from zero to 100; scores below 25 mean there is no destination within walking range (Lerner considers anything farther than a mile not very walkable) and scores 90 and higher signify a "walker's paradise."

Lerner admits the scoring system is not yet perfect: "There's a lot of things that make a neighborhood walkable that we're not measuring right now... things like how wide the streets are, things like safety."

Lerner also acknowledges that the scoring information is also only as accurate as Google Maps, so there may be some disconnect between what's on the site and what's actually in a neighborhood. Also, distances are calculated as the crow flies, meaning the site gives the shortest distance between two points, regardless of whether there's, for example, a lake in between.

For fun, use a pull-down menu to see how your neighborhood stacks up against such celebrity locations as the Brady Bunch House in Hollywood (walk score, 75) and President Bush's Crawford ranch (zero).

Vintage Lockers

School days, school days, good old golden rule days....

From the website:

Vintage Lockers

Fifties' originals, our sassy locker storage is sure to bring back memories.

Stripped, sanded and finished in Sky Blue or Apple Green and raw steel.

The 12 small cubbies and one triple height locker offer organization for so many things — sweaters and T-shirts, towels and toiletries, toys and games, craft supplies and sporting gear.

Sizes will vary as each piece is vintage and unique.

36"W x 12"D x 60"H.

Made in USA.

....................

$1,995.

Experts' Experts: World's Best Apple Corer

There's nothing better than a baked apple, nor is it difficult to make one.

Even I could — mos def.

Probably.

But you've got to prepare your pomme prior to putting it in the oven.

The diligent, dutiful folks at Cook's Illustrated have done all the heavy coring for us to come up with a recommendation for the very best version of this tool.

Here's what the magazine's "Equipment Corner" feature in the latest (September/October 2007) issue had to say about this important component of any good cook's batterie de cuisine.

Apple Corers

A good apple corer should be a fast, easy tool for eliminating the core neatly. We found one that worked well.

Rather than slicing an apple into quarters and then removing the core and seeds from each piece, we'd rather reach for an apple corer, which does the job in one fell swoop. We tested five models and found out the task wasn't always so cut and dried. Narrow blade diameters — less than 3/4 inch — on the Henckels Twin Cuisine Apple Corer ($9.95) and Messermeister Serrated Apple Corer ($6.95) struggled to break through the firmer flesh on Granny Smith apples and forced us to poke and prod the core from the sharp metal teeth. The relatively stubby — 3-1/2 inches or less — metal tubes on the Henckels corer and the Leifheit Hinged Apple Corer ($11.99) came up short when asked to plow through large apples. We had much better results with the razor-sharp Rösle Fruit Corer ($21) and the OXO Good Grips Corer ($6.50). Testers preferred the more comfortable grip on the OXO model.


HIGHLY RECOMMENDED:

OXO Good Grips Corer
Price: $6.50
Source: www.amazon.com
Comments: Though this tool’s wide mouth occasionally failed to tightly grip the loosened core for extraction, it made up for this drawback with its trademark “good grip” and its sharp teeth.


RECOMMENDED:

Rösle Fruit Corer
Price: $19
Source: www.surlatable.com
Comments: If the stainless steel looped handle didn’t slide around in our apple-juiced hands, this tool’s concentration of prickly teeth would have made it the top corer.


RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS:

Leifheit Hinged Apple Corer
Price: $11.99
Source: www.cooking.com
Comments: No complaints here about messy core removal. This corer’s clever split-apart mechanism worked well, except for its tendency to wobble open while inside the apple.


NOT RECOMMENDED:

Messermeister Serrated Apple Corer
Price: $6.95
Source: www.cutleryandmore.com
Comments: This tool sported a nice nonslip handle, but its blade was a hair too narrow.

Henckels Twin Cuisine Apple Corer
Price: $9.95
Source: www.cutleryandmore.com
Comments: Too small all around, this corer came up short in diameter and length.

....................

OXO's corer (top) is $6.50 here.

Collator

From the website:

Collator

The collapsible russell+hazel Collator keeps files, papers and photos within reach and out of sloppy piles.

It folds down to almost nothing, and can even be hung on the wall.

• Flexes to hold small or large files

• Overall size: 6-3/8 x 10-1/2"

• Aluminum finish

• Six slots

$29.