Football 2007/2008 — Things that, if I never hear them again, it'll be too soon

"Don't kick it to Hester" — why bother wasting the energy to even say the words, when immediately after they're uttered the ball is kicked to said individual and he subsequently takes it to the house? What an amazing, brilliant player.

"They need to improve their defensive secondary" — but what about the offensive secondary? Oh, yeah — there's no such thing.

"He's a great player but an even better person" — With surprising frequency followed shortly thereafter by a penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct/unnecessary roughness (à la the Sports Illustrated cover jinx) or an arrest.

"He can play at the next level" and "you'll be seeing him on Sundays" — why not just say he'll play pro ball? Why the euphemisms? Is there something illicit about actually coming out and saying "NFL?"

"He's special" — puh-leeze.