bookofjoe

World-class cheese, delivered to your door free

That's the good news.

But it gets even better: The cheeses are from Artisanal, arguably one of the three best cheese shops in New York City and, for that matter, the entire country.

The bad news is that your door has to be located in mid-town Manhattan.

No matter: Next time I'm in Gotham you can bet your Epoisses I'm gonna be ordering a nice selection to be brought right to my hotel room door.

Ummm.

Here's Florence Fabricant's item about the new service, from the April 16, 2008 New York Times Dining In section.

Pedaling Cheeses Across Midtown

Artisanal Premium Cheese, 500 West 37th Street, now has two brightly decorated pedicabs [above] for deliveries of cheeses in Manhattan from 34th to 63rd Streets, river to river. The service is free for orders $50 or more; $6 for all others. Orders can be placed at (877) 797-1200 or artisanalcheese.com. Orders received by 1 p.m. will be delivered from 1:30 to 5:30 p.m.

One cheese available this spring is a Brillat-Savarin frais, a triple cream cheese that is lush and slightly tangy, halfway between cream cheese and fromage blanc: it could be the best schmear your bagel will ever know. With fresh berries, it’s dessert.

The cheese was actually a mistake. Toni Amira, the director of sales for Artisanal Premium Cheese, had asked one of the producers of the cheese to deliver it unaged, so that Artisanal could let it mature in its own temperature-controlled cave. What he got were fresh cheeses lacking the mold-forming bacteria needed to permit them to age.

But he’s not complaining. The Brillat-Savarin frais, 10 ounces, is $17.50.

Clip-on LED Lights

Fashionable, no?

From the website:
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Clip-on LED Lights

You can keep your hands free while you work with these compact lightweight LED lights that clip to your glasses, hat, shirt collar, belt loop and more.

They rotate a full 360° for precision lighting and emit the equivalent of 40 watts of light.

Extra button cell batteries included.

Lights have on/off button.
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Set of 2: $17.98.

I'll be darned if these don't look exactly like the deer whistles I've had on my front car bumper since forever.

Do they work?

Well, I've never hit a deer so it's obvious they do.

Right?

Why you shouldn't be too upset if you bought an HD-DVD player

Long story short: Though I haven't read this anywhere, turns out my HD-DVD and Blu-ray players play regular (not high-def) DVDs differently, such that in many cases one player provides a much better viewing experience.

John Kay, the excellent Financial Times columnist, recently lamented how he was now stuck with an expensive doorstop since his HD-DVD player was the loser in the recently concluded format wars.

I tried to cheer him up with the following email.

Dear John,

I happen to have purchased both HD-DVD and Blu-ray players a couple months ago after getting a wonderful Pioneer flat screen HDTV.

I have noticed that regular DVDs sometimes play differently on the two machines, even though both are said to play such discs without any problem.

Not true.

Sometimes one DVD player will display the picture in a stretched format or with funny sized/colored (gray rather than black) bars to the sides or above and below the picture.

In such cases the other player seems to handle the picture just fine and makes for fine viewing; and vice versa.

I strongly recommend keeping your HD-DVD player at hand even after such discs no longer are offered for sale, as a back-up for regular DVDs that don't play right on your Blu-ray player, as detailed above.

I haven't yet mentioned this in my blog but now that I've spelled it out here I just might.

Best,

Joe

(dimmest bulb on the tree)

Gun [Remote] Control

Sure, any gun will work as a remote control — once.

This iteration offers a longer-term approach to the problem.

From the website:
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Gun Remote Control

Blast through the channels with this sharp-shootin' remote control!

Program it to move up or down one channel at a time, adjust the volume or any other singular function you choose.

Each time you pull the trigger, it makes a "gun fire" sound!

If anyone questions your authority, point to the included sheriff's badge [below] and lay down the law!

Requires 2 AA batteries (not included).
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Well, there it is.

$12.98.

ivu.org — Vegetarian restaurant links around the world

Because you never know when — or where — the urge for soy will strike.

Paola Singer featured the website in a March 11, 2008 Wall Street Journal item, which follows.

Eating and Traveling Vegetarian

Problem: You have trouble finding good vegetarian dining options while traveling.

Solution: The International Vegetarian Union, a nonprofit organization that promotes vegetarianism, posts links to restaurant guides, associations and related news, in the U.S. and abroad. The group's site, ivu.org, offers information divided by continent and then by country. The site also includes a few recommendations for hotels and bed and breakfasts that cater to vegetarians.

Happycow.net has a thorough and frequently updated guide to vegetarian restaurants and health-food stores in major cities around the world. For travel within the U.S., VegOut guidebooks, published by Gibbs Smith, list and rate vegetarian restaurants in big cities like San Francisco, New York and Chicago. Lonely Planet city guides generally include vegetarian options in their restaurant sections.

Though not strictly for vegetarians, eatwellguide.org lists restaurants, farms and stores offering local, sustainable and organic food nationwide.

Travel agencies that cater to vegetarians, such as Green Earth Travel (vegtravel.com), help customers plan vacations that suit their interests, including vegetarian-friendly cruises, culinary trips and eco tours.

World's First Traveling Sprinkler

From the website:

John Deere Traveling Sprinkler

Waters Your Lawn Where You Want

Just set it and forget it!

The John Deere Traveling Sprinkler moves itself along your garden hose in whatever pattern you lay out.

Ideal for odd shaped yards.

Travels up to 200 feet and covers up to 13,500 square feet.

Adjustable speed settings let you control the amount of watering.

It can also double as a stationary sprinkler so you can water a specific area.

Position the shut-off ramp wherever you want the sprinkler to stop and it automatically shuts off the water.

Constructed of cast iron with plastic wheels.

Hose attachment and nozzle are stainless steel.

Measures 21" x 17" and weighs a hefty 14 pounds.

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$119.95.

'The actress Tilda Swinton does not wear makeup'

So began Alex Kuczynski's April 13, 2008 New York Times "T" magazine article about the singular actress, pictured above in a photo by Jean-Baptiste Mondino which accompanied the story.

Star Trek Communicator — Your iPhone is so last century

From websites:

Star Trek™ Communicator — 'Enterprise, this is Kirk'

Your ultimate Star Trek adventure isn't complete until you've beamed aboard this life-size original series communicator that features sound effects and nine voice clips from the series.

Each of these limited edition collectibles features a pop-open design and deluxe window-box packaging.

Don't get caught on your next away mission without one of these handy lifesavers.

Can be configured to call you back.

Order yours and live the dream of owning your own Star Trek Communicator!

Along with beeping sounds, the 9 different voice phrases include:

• "Enterprise, this is Kirk." (Captain Kirk)

• "Spock here, Captain." (Spock)

• "Bridge here, Captain."

• "Transporter room ready to beam up."

• "Bridge, this is the captain." (Captain Kirk)

• "Enterprise to Mr. Spock."

• "Captain, shall I beam down an armed party?" (Spock)

• "Scotty here, Captain." (Scotty)

• "Your signal is very weak; can you turn up your gain?" (Spock)

Other features include:

• Cycle through all 9 phrases — to play all the sayings from Kirk, Spock, Scotty and Uhura, just press and hold the button under the blue light for 3 seconds.

• Be hailed by the Enterprise — hold down the button under the red light for 5 seconds, then quickly close the communicator. A few seconds later your communicator will start to beep and once you open it, Spock will ask if he can beam down an armed landing party.

• Quick flip-open activation — a motor inside the communicator will start spinning and an activation sequence will play when you flip open the gold communicator lid.

With pop-open design, glossy painted base and vac-metal shield.

2 AAA batteries included.

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$22.89.