Football Belt — 'Keeps your pants from falling into the end zone'

I thought that was hilarious when I read it in the dead-tree-version catalog but alas, it appears the company cleaned up its copy for the web.

Good thing you've got me around.

From the website:

Football Belt

My best football season was third grade — the last time anybody let me play quarterback.

Oh, the glorious feel of that pebbly ball as I sent it wobbling toward its intended target.

Naturally, our Football Belt is made of that same pebble grain cowhide (pigskins aren’t really made of pigskin, pal), making it a must for football fanatics or anyone else who appreciates a distinctive, durable belt.

Has black steel buckle, black contrast stitching and seven keeper holes — not the usual five — for extra adjustability as you bulk up for game day.

$34.50.