Memo to Howard Schultz, CEO of Starbucks: Rearranging the deck chairs will not prevent your ship from sinking

Much has been made of Starbucks' recent troubles and Schultz's efforts to stanch the bleeding so I will not belabor them.

Rather, I will speak as a human canary in the coal mine of sorts for the millions of people around the world who, like me, frequent Starbucks on a more or less regular basis.

Why should those of us who choose to remain inside the store, enjoying the comfortable chairs and air conditioning and Internet and all, have to listen to the incessant annoying beeping of those little timers behind the counter used by the baristas to signal readiness of various drinks and whatnot?

Sure, the whole point of an alarm is to be irritating enough to make you take an action to shut it off.

But why should a company as savvy as Starbucks torture its customers with what is intended for an audience consisting exclusively of its employees?

Remember back in the old days when hospitals were insane asylums of cacophony, hallways echoing with loud overhead voice pages, stuff like "Code Blue, Second Floor, Room 234," and "Dr. Fine, calling Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine," et al?

Ridiculous.

That's why hospitals stopped that craziness and went to direct paging of the individuals involved who, after all, were the sole intended recipients — not patients and visitors and everyone else.

So why hasn't Starbucks provided each of its baristas with an earpiece that registers the alarms and leaves the rest of us to enjoy our high-priced libations?

Huh?

Yo, Howard, no need to compensate me for this advice — it's worth precisely what you paid for it.