WiFi-B-Gone: bookofjoe MoneyMaker©™® — squared

Jonathan D. Glater's front page article in yesterday's New York Times Business section about how more and more universities are handing out free iPhones to incoming freshman was an eye-opener.

"The lone losers, some fear, could be professors," wrote Glater.

That's an understatement.

The only losers will be professors.

Naomi J. Pugh, a first-year student at Freed-Hardeman University in Henderson, Tennessee, who received a free iPod Touch from the school, told Glater, "When it gets a little boring, I might pull it out."

"Might?"

Glater added, "She speculated that professors might try harder to make class interesting if they were competing with the devices."

How do you spell "Game over?"

But I digress.

Predictably, professors like Robert S. Summers, who's taught at Cornell Law School for about 40 years, did the old knee-jerk dance, to wit: Summers "... announced this week — in a detailed footnoted memorandum — that he would ban laptop computers from his class on contract law."

Said Summers of the iPhone, after its capabilities were explained to him, "I would ban that too if I knew the students were using it in class."

Yo, prof: the horse left the barn a long time ago.

Now to the good part.

What, you stopped reading 'cause you got bored?

Me too.

But I digress yet again.

Anyway.

Remember how TV-B-Gone became a smash hit the instant it came out, making its inventor, Mitch Altman, richer than Croesus?

Well, here's your big chance to do Altman one better, to wit: WiFi-B-Gone.

We all know there are portable (and illegal) devices that block cellphone transmission.

How 'bout one that interferes with WiFi so Canute the Great types like professor Summers can enjoy a year or two more of wireless-free classrooms?

Hmm?

And no — you can't have the ones that're available to certain government agencies.

Even if you know someone who works at Fort Meade or Langley.
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Note added at 7:22 p.m. today: a reader in a secure, undisclosed location points out that jamming WiFi signals is illegal in the U.S.

I knew this to be true but didn't mention it because, well, I don't know why I didn't mention it in the original 4:01 p.m. post — perhaps because it seemed obvious.

Anyway.

I'm not here to cause trouble.

But it's sure fun to think stuff up.

Same as it ever was.