Helpful Hints from joeeze: Bottle opening hack

For reasons too boring too mention I found myself in a hotel room last evening with a six-pack of chilled Clausthaler (my favorite non-alcoholic beer) and no opener.

Somehow I had forgotten the Swiss Army knife I always take on car trips and the Swiss Card in my anesthesia fanny pack had all manner of useful accessories but no bottle opener nor did the teeny-tiny Swiss Army knife I keep in my car's glove compartment feature one.

Hmmm.

"Solve the problem with what's in the room," Edwin H. Land's credo, presented itself front and center, making a trip down the hall to the hotel's front desk to use their opener an unequivocal mark of failure.

I looked at the bottle and cap (no, it wasn't a screw-top — I mean, come on, give me just the slightest bit of credit) and wondered if a Pilot G-2 07 roller ball pen with blue ink might be the solution.

So I clicked it to expose the point and then very deliberately poked it beneath one of the bottlecap's crimped ridges — then I forcibly jammed it in as far as I could.

Foam started moving rising inside the bottle so I must've broken the seal.

Then I went around the bottle crimp by crimp and repeated the point/poke/jam routine.

And before I came around to the first entry point, the top lifted off.

Ahhhh.

No sharp objects, no danger of something slipping and hurting me and, best of all, done with what was in the room and will most always be in any room or one nearby.

There you have it.

Two final points:

1) The pen still wrote — not well, but functionally — after opening not just one but a second bottle with it

2) You will probably get results as good as mine with pens of any color — no need to search for a blue iteration should you decide to try my technique

I'm just saying, is all.