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January 24, 2009

'Waiter, there's a scorpion in my drink!'

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Well, duh — you said you wanted something different, didn't you?

Long story short: Skorppio vodka (above and below) is pure single grain (wheat) vodka with an edible scorpion inside.

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"These scorpions are farm raised, not wild. Their diet and environment is controlled to assure their good quality. The scorpions are processed for human consumption according to high quality food preparation standards. The toxins that make the mild venom of these particular scorpions when alive are broken down with a special process."

I feel much better now.

My crack research team went deep and brought back a competitor named Scorpion vodka (below),

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said on one website to contain scorpions that have "... been specially bred for us in southern China."

More: "The scorpion is first put through a special detoxifying process, then infused in the vodka for three months before hitting the shelves. The scorpion imparts a pleasant soft woody taste... and also effectively smoothes off the sharp edge of the vodka."

"Alcohol infused with a scorpion is said to possess many excellent health properties when drunk, such as helping to increase libido, lowering blood pressure and removing toxins from the bloodstream."

"Scorpion vodka is best served straight from the freezer neat, but it is also a pleasant partner to a simple mixer such as tonic. Once you have finished the vodka you can then move on to the scorpion which has been carefully detoxified so that it is 100% safe to eat!"

"Caution: Please be careful of the sharp stinger."

"Makes a dramatic scorpion martini with the scorpion in the glass — good alternative to an olive!"

Copy that.

£18 for a 25cl bottle.

[via Pulp]

January 24, 2009 at 09:01 AM | Permalink


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Comments

what a way to go, drowning in vodka. Well, at least it was happy when it died. XD

Posted by: kit | Jan 27, 2009 5:11:01 AM

Poor Udi and Saul. What did they ever do to deserve such fate....

Posted by: Udi and Saul Advocate | Jan 24, 2009 12:24:04 PM

Trust Udi and Saul to point out the truly obvious.

Posted by: Miles the scorpion advocate | Jan 24, 2009 10:12:55 AM

I'm not feeling so good about this one. Lets see, from China in just the last year, we have had thousands of our Pets die from eating ingredients from China contained in our dog food. There have been millions of childrens toys recalled due to lead in the paint. Also there was the scandalous discovery that a Chinese company was selling and repackaging USED wooden chopsticks and shipping to Chinese restaurants in the USA.

According to the Consumer Product Safety Commission 67% of defective products came from China, which of course makes them highest on the list. In one month they uncovered over 100 products which have proven to choke, burn,drown, drop, trap Americans.

Google the phrase: product recalls from China
You get 544,000 matches.

It would be truly ironic if the "one safe thing" from China was a food product made from a toxic insect.

Posted by: Saul Castellanos | Jan 24, 2009 9:34:04 AM

how confusing. they detox him then drown him in liquor.

Posted by: Udi | Jan 24, 2009 9:27:39 AM

Poor little scorpion. What did he ever do to anybody to deserve such fate...

Posted by: Miles the scorpion advocate | Jan 24, 2009 9:18:23 AM

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