SMUJ Anti-CCTV Lotion

Now available to the general public for the first time ever.

"Those seeking to evade the increasing intrusiveness of the Surveillance Society can now gain a measure of anonymity that is a little more subtle than the constant wearing of hoodie and balaclava. SMUJ does exactly what it says on the biogdegradable bottle. As well as being an organic, odourless, non-greasy moisturiser, a dab of SMUJ reduces any attempt at image capture, including CCTV, to an indecipherable blur, in the manner of those bystanders on Google Street View. This is owing to the inclusion of Obfu5 K8, a mysterious and sophisticated 'physiognomic obscurant'. What this means, simply, is that techno-snoop is thwarted by bio-baffle."

[from James Ferguson's "Pat Pending" feature on page 53 of today's Financial Times "How To Spend It" magazine]