Waiting for Romo

Mike Tanier's Beckett parody in the form of a brief item  in today's New York Times Sports section about the Raider-Cowboys matchup later this afternoon is — by far — the best thing in today's papers; it follows.

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Raiders (3-7) at Cowboys (7-3) 

In a lesser-known version of his classic — this one titled "Waiting for Romo" — Samuel Beckett tells the story of two men named Wade and Jerry, who wait in a field for a mysterious quarterback named Romo [top] to arrive, achieve his full potential and bring meaning to their otherwise barren lives. Romo never comes, and they spend eternity pursuing unfulfilling diversions: watching characters named Marion and Felix run around, arguing on the sideline and beating bad teams on last-second touchdowns. Beckett's rewritten version of the play reached a wider audience, but it is more resonant for today's Cowboys existentialist.

Few three-word phrases pack more irony than Bruce Gradkowski era, but the momentary spark he provides makes the Raiders slightly more dangerous to the Cowboys, a first-place team that habitually plays down to its competition. Gradkowski [above] is not the answer to the Raiders' prayers, but he may be the answer to Tim Tebow's: one or two more wins, and the Raiders will be out of range to draft Tebow out of Florida and destroy his N.F.L. career.