7 Habits of Highly Prolific Self-Promoters

Above, the headline of Eric Spitznagel's amusing article in this week's Bloomberg Businessweek.

Below, the seven habits.

1. Jack up your Klout score

2. Know the bountiful beauty of brevity

3. Animals are your best friend

4. Pay someone handsomely to write it for you

5. Buy your own books

6. It's all about what you call it

7. Write what you want to read

[Illustration up top by Kyle Platts]