Huffington Post Cheese Puffs Throwdown — 9 bags enter, 1 bag leaves

Sometimes you know the results before the ballot ("sentence first — verdict afterwards") but let's give credit where credit is due, in this case to the Huffington Post for buying nine (9) different brands of cheese puffs and then doing a blind tasting to determine the very best one on the planet.

No one who's experienced the exquisite pleasure of licking the fluorescent orange dreck adhering to their eating fingers after inhaling a bag of Cheetos will be surprised at the outcome of the contest: A knockout in the ninth round by Frito-Lay's Big Orange (top).

I feel sorry for the people who, in the name of objective journalism, had to eat competitors from such pretenders as Whole Foods 365, Gibbles, Utz, and Garden of Eden.

Garden of Eden and its ilk making cheese puffs – or any junk food — fall into the same leaky boat as companies hawking veggie burgers and trying to convince us they taste just as good as the real deal: not likely any time soon.