On Amazon* I'm a star

Long story short: a month ago Amazon started offering up to the hour eBook author rankings. 

I got all excited about finding out just how popular I am.

Above, my Amazon Author Rank since inception date (September 28, 2012).

As any fool can plainly see I'm doing great — making steady progress at flank speed.

But wait — there's more!

Below, my proceeds and sales by week. 

 

Hmmm.

Maybe I better stay with my day job just a little longer.

Real soon now, though....

Not to ignore the real world of ink stained wretches, Amazon was kind enough to offer a snapshot (below)

 

of just how well I'm doing in the paper world.

Just as great.

My future's so bright, I better turn out the lights — 'cause the party's over.

*Bizarro World iteration