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November 29, 2012

On meeting virtual people

Over the years I've gotten to know lots of people by virtue of bookofjoe.

As a rule I never call them or meet up with them in person, whether they live here in my Podunk town or Tokyo. 

The Internet works great for me, whether via my comments section or email.

I'm easy to reach directly and hundreds if not thousands of people will attest to the fact that I'm surprisingly prompt, considering. 

Actually, I have very little interest in meeting in wetspace.

Not just because I'm happy here at home with Gray Cat and prefer not to have to bother going places.

That's the least of it.

The main thing is that rarely is someone better in person — or even as appealing — as they are online. 

The reasons why don't interest me, just the end result.

So I say to myself, why would I want to do something that will end a great relationship when there's an infinitesimal chance it will make that relationship better?

You know me: I think like an anesthesiologist.

If it can go wrong, it will go wrong.

So why add one more moving part to a machine that's working beautifully?

November 29, 2012 at 11:01 PM | Permalink


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sometimes getting to know someone online is enough -


Posted by: sherlock | Dec 2, 2012 2:35:40 AM

hologram is clever i suppose - in a creepy zombie kind of way

Posted by: sherlock | Dec 2, 2012 2:04:53 AM

It passed through my mind to stop and see if you were up for a quick howdy-do, when I was passing through your Podunk Town a couple months ago. I decided it was best to push on to my destination, still further hours down the road, instead.

Posted by: Matt Penning | Nov 30, 2012 8:03:48 PM

The word think is the problem, not cyberspace, not meeting people.

I myself could never live with dictating the meeting.

Nature flows, it's a good teacher.

Posted by: JoePeach | Nov 30, 2012 5:11:34 PM

Joe's been having so much fun with all the virtuals friends he's met through this posting that he's completely forgotten about his own webiste. I for one, want my morning fix! :-)

Posted by: jim` | Nov 30, 2012 2:34:50 PM

Come on, Joe. We all know that Anesthesiologists have deep and meaningful interactions with their patients.

You're a critter of the mind. Long distance runners are comfortable in their heads as the pursuit is a solitary exercise.

Keeping your patients and virtual friends at arms reach is comfortable for you. Nothing wrong with that.

Posted by: 6.02*10^23 | Nov 30, 2012 2:06:34 PM

You like being home because you have an agreeable companion and plenty to interest you, right there.

Posted by: Kay | Nov 30, 2012 11:51:51 AM

Until you meet someone in real life, you miss out on a lot of cues that give you insight about the real person.

Personally, I don't really know someone until I talk to them in person. A lot of people that I 'knew', I didn't know until we've met. One of my best friends was a guy that was on a forum I ran for about 10 years and then moved to Indy for a couple of years. I thought he was an ass on my forums...turns out he is in real life as well, but one that is funny as hell.

Another friend was one I thought I knew, but didn't really. Turns out we weren't really good friends once we got to meet (and a business we had been running together virtually kinda fell apart...though it probably would have even if we hadn't met). And quite a few others that are somewhere in between, either better or worse than I pictured them.

In all cases, life moves on. But I'm glad I took the chance to know the real person, not just the online version. Not one is a bad person. Life is too short to worry about something going bad vs. the possibility of it being far far far more awesome. I like to look for the positives...because when you do, you are more likely to find them. Until you meet someone in real life, they might be a penpal or otherwise, but not a full friend. I'm looking for real friends...not virtual facsimiles of such.

Posted by: clifyt | Nov 30, 2012 10:29:17 AM

Nicely put, and yes I will attest to the fact that you are easy to reach and surprisingly prompt. You are a great virtual friend (although I for one, suspect that you are just as excellent in person).

Posted by: tamra | Nov 30, 2012 6:36:30 AM

Someone's an introvert!

Posted by: Scott Jenkins | Nov 30, 2012 1:40:36 AM

When I get to know someone online, I can read between the lines, so to speak, in a way that I can't do as well in person because of the multitude of distractions and obfuscations. It's definitely different (and to be sure, if I was lookin' fer luv it would start in person from the git-go or it would be a no-go), but not necessarily less. As I've gotten to know more people, I understand the rhythms of it better, and remember how it was back in the day when people had actual snail-mail correspondences, and how totally different it is from that. I like it.

Posted by: Flautist | Nov 30, 2012 1:18:01 AM

Amen. You articulated my thoughts accurately.

Posted by: antares | Nov 30, 2012 12:49:33 AM

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