4:01 a.m. Bottle Opener Series — Episode 9: Russian-style

Like homies of my ancestors (both my parents were born in the U.S.S.R.) said to a Wall Street Journal reporter in an article that appeared decades ago about injuries incurred after a horrific crash while they were out four-wheeling across the Siberian taiga, "Spit on it, blow on it, and away we go."

In that spirit, then, I present to you this nifty tool, discovered deep in the recesses of eBay in the wee hours of the morning by my Crack Research Team®™©.

Q. yo joe: Is it ®™© or ©™®? You seem to use them interchangeably. 

A. It's whatever appears.

But I digress.

This multi-tool does not seem destined for your EDC — though that serious handle ring would play nicely with a carabiner on your belt — unless you're Russian but then, that's OK too.

I like the seller's description:

Vintage Russian Multitool Opener No Corkscrew Driver Ax Nail Puller etc. RARE

This nice item will come complete as pictured in this listing.

Adding to its street cred — not that any more is really needed: I mean, look at this puppy and try to imagine where it's been and what it's done... — is the fact that it ships from Budapest.

I mean, if it was out of Bradenton or Charlotte you'd have to raise at least an eyebrow, what?

Starting bid $19.99; auction ends January 31.

Fair warning.