February 18, 2013
Worried about anthrax-laced mail? You need PowderSafe Gloves
You can't be too careful these days, what with all the crazies out there.
Heck, just the other day I got a crazy-looking package from Georgia, with these weird drawings and all — what if it hadn't been a nice present from a fan?
I'd be writing this from the Dead Zone, that's what.
Apply within to get your own PowderSafe.
"I didn't inhale" won't protect you from powerful anthrax spores.
"I chase him. I bite him." — Who knew Deputy Dawg was a Brit?
Not moi, that's for sure, until a member of my Crack Pittsburgh Correspondent®™© team sent me this item from The Mail.
Pictured above is the official police report, whose caption in the paper's story read:
Paws for thought: The witness statement was written as a joke after prosecutors asked for an account of a crime by "PC Peach" — not realizing that the officer was actually an Alsatian.
Excerpts from the newspaper article below.
Police are under investigation for jokingly filling in a witness statement in the name of a force dog.
Officers became exasperated when prosecutors asked for an account of a crime from a "PC Peach" — not realising Peach was the name of a police dog.
So they completed the form as if it had been written by the Alsatian, and signed it with a paw print.
The dog's statement [top] read: "I chase him. I bite him. Bad man. He tasty. Good boy. Good boy Peach."
The form was pinned up at a West Midlands Police station last week for the amusement of colleagues, who are often at odds with the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) over the handling of cases.
Another officer took a photo of the statement and it found its way to a "cop humor" page on Facebook on Friday.
The image was later deleted but the dog section of a different force, West Yorkshire, enjoyed it so much they posted the image on Twitter in a tweet that was shared more than 150 times.
The CPS, however, failed to see the funny side. Officials are believed to have complained to police that their mistake has been turned into a very public joke.
This is being considered by West Midlands Police's Professional Standards Department and the officer who shared the picture, PC Mark Tissington, referred himself to the internal discipline unit. Sources say he is unlikely to be reprimanded.
DCI Julian Harper, from West Midlands Police, said: "The Professional Standards Department is looking into this, early enquiries suggest it is a light-hearted exchange as a result of a misunderstanding around a police dog and a police officer. The matter will be investigated."
It comes just a week after The Mail on Sunday revealed new guidelines for police on the safe use of the internet, which advise officers against sharing "operational material" online.
Below, police dog Peach with his handler.
What is it?
Answer here this time tomorrow.
Hint: Smaller than a bread box.
Another: Meant for use outside the home.
A third: Cheap at twice the price.
Free will is like free money — I'm always willing to take some
Above, a paid advertisement that occupied one-sixth of page 22 of yesterday's New York Times Arts & Leisure section.
I read it once, then again, then stopped trying to understand it and decided on the spot to post it here and let you 'splain it to me.
Where are the Snowdens of yesteryear?
Planet Dork Workshop's Steel Mouse Doorstop
From the desk of Crack Research Team®™© Northern California correspondent Tam Donovan comes word of this formidable doorstop.
From the website:
The cutest way of stopping that door from slamming shut is, obviously, a Planet Dork mouse doorstop.
This is one of two designs, featuring the mouse putting his back into driving the wedge under the door.
Frankly, it's about time mice did something useful around the house rather than nibbling holes in the skirting board, defecating in the kitchen, and eating cheese.
So we thought we would weld one to a doorstop.
In fact we even made the mouse, from recycled steel reclaimed from the junk yard.
Hand-made in the Planet Dork Workshop in southern France.
Coated in a hard-wearing lacquer.
2.8" x 2.8" x 4.7".
Flautist's "all-time favorite cat video in the world"
So much faith do I have in her taste and judgement that I went ahead and posted it without even watching it: I'll catch it for the first time right here right now with you.
Blessed indeed is he who is tight as a tick with THE Georgia peach.
In her own words, received yesterday at 2:37 p.m. ET along with the YouTube link: "I think this is my all-time favorite cat video in the world. Scottish fold, just watchin' some Star Wars. Those ridiculous ears. Be still my heart."