4:01 a.m. Bottle Opener Series ('I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy") — Episode 21: YETI Tarpon Beverage Entry Tool (BET) — For Right-Handed People Only

The graphic above clearly demonstrates that this tool is designed for use by righties only.

$9.99.

Lefties will please refer to your bespoke iteration here.

[via my LA correspondent, training in earnest for an insane 14-day hiking trip by walking for hours every day @3.5mph on an inclined treadmill carrying a 65-pound pack. Makes my night-time 10-mile runs in pitch blackness on uneven, cracked, and broken sidewalks wearing nothing reflective and no light — without my glasses — with in-ear headphones masking all outside sound while blasting "Paper Planes" at volume 10/10 look positively feeble. And yet — in the operating room giving anesthesia, when it comes to risk and patient safety I am insane about never, ever doing anything that could possibly increase the chance of something bad happening to a patient, to the extent that colleagues for years have called me a "little old lady." I'm down wit dat. As Flaubert remarked — in another context entirely to be sure — "Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work." FunFact: Magritte went to his studio every day dressed in a suit and tie.]