Laser-Guided Car Parking

"Nothing is more accurate than laser-guided parking," crows the catalog entry for this "space age laser parking system."

I'm sure that's correct, but I'm also certain that you don't use a tank to crack walnuts.

When I looked at the picture (above) of this device in action, for a moment I thought it might be a still from the new "Terminator 4: The Lasers Strike Back."

But the beam isn't burning a hole in the pretty BMW's hood, it turns out; it's simply helping its brain-damaged driver (I mean, he bought the darn thing, Q.E.D., don't you think?) position his vehicle just so in his garage.

"Simply attach the laser unit to your garage ceiling above your vehicle's windshield. As you pull into the garage, the built-in motion sensor automatically turns on the laser beam. When the beam strikes your dashboard, you know to stop."

I dunno, I've always just noted some landmark or nail in the side of the garage and pulled in so that my head is even with it.

But if you prefer to be new-fangled, then you can buy a Laser Park for $29.98 here.

Just remember not to look up.