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July 10, 2005

'They're not just for hashbrowns anymore' — Things you can do with a potato

Aasdd_1

A blog is only as good as its readers and I've got an estimable one down Mississippi way: Ms. Shawn Lea, grand panjandrum (panjandra?) of the fabuloso everythingandnothing.

Early this morning — at 1:12:55 a.m. (ET) — Shawn reported on her recent discovery of yet another use for the humble potato besides its role in forming part of the All–American breakfast.

Why wasn't she asleep at the hour?

I don't know and I don't want to know. But I digress.

She suggested that "we should begin collecting the ever–growing uses for the humble but hard–working spud."

Her wish was my command: I roused my crack research team from their collective stupor in front of their keyboards — you don't think they're allowed to sleep in a bed, do you? Surely you jest — and said, get on with it.

Only twelve hours later they have presented me with the following bookofjoe Version 2.0 version of "101 Uses for a Dead Potato — Abridged."

That's why it contains only 7 uses.

And now on the meat of the matter (wait a minute, that's not right...):

    1) Remove a broken light bulb stump.

    2) Make a "sponge stamp" — "Cut a potato in half and use a cookie cutter to cut out a design. The potato absorbs just the right amount of paint so as not to make your stamping look 'gloppy.'" [via Shawn Lea]

    3) A remailer utility (whatever that is).

    4) Mr. Potato Head. Read his history.

    5) As a poultice — Edgar Cayce advocated the use of potato peel scrapings to reduce inflammation of the eyes. "Do not use the new potato; that is, use the potato of the year previous, and scrape same and lay over the eye of evenings."

    6) To improve hair color and health — once again, from Edgar Cayce. "Peel the potato and make a soup of the peelings. Take this weekly."

    7) As a joke — Place a potato on the couch. When someone asks, "What's that potato doing there?," reply, "It's a couch potato." With the right audience, laughter will ensue. Well, it would here, anyhow.

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Hey — if you can't take a joke, find someone who can.

What does that mean?

"Babies, before we're done here you'll all be wearing gold–plated diapers."

"What does that mean?"

"Never question Bruce Dickinson."

July 10, 2005 at 05:01 PM | Permalink


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Comments

I sure do get a kick out all this stuff you find!

Posted by: Joan | Jul 10, 2005 7:32:22 PM

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