Why I'm hugely amused by Carl Icahn

From a story about Icahn (above) last month in the Wall Street Journal:

A self–described "obsessive," Mr. Icahn says nobody can touch his desk.

"It's a cardinal sin," he says.

"I keep the papers in a certain way, just the way I like them."

He says he identifies with aviation pioneer Howard Hughes's obsessive personality.

Mr. Icahn divides his time between a New York apartment and his estate in East Hampton, New York.

On the estate's grounds, a total of 55 telephones are available to satisfy Mr. Icahn's constant wish to talk business.

His wife, Gail, says that "if we're at home and I want to talk to him in the morning about our dinner plans," she'll phone him — it's faster than waiting for him to hang up on another caller.

Mr. Icahn often stays up until 2:30 a.m., sometimes walking city streets late at night talking by cellphone to a small group of analysts and lawyers.

Lawyer Peter Wolfson recalls being called by Mr. Icahn on Mother's Day a few years back.

When Mr. Wolfson said the holiday wasn't a good time for a long business talk, he said Mr. Icahn asked why — "Are you somebody's mother?" — and continued the discussion.

I read somewhere else recently that when Icahn was asked what his hobbies were and what he did to relax, he looked at the questioner with a blank look on his face, then replied, "I don't have any hobbies and I don't know the meaning of the word 'relax.'"

I have no doubt that those words are the honest truth.

The reason I like Icahn is that he makes no bones about who he is or what he does; he doesn't try to make himself more palatable to anyone; he just goes on about his business, doing what he does and making an enormous amount of money as a result.

Shakespeare, in "Hamlet," said it perfectly: "To thine own self be true."

FunFact: To seem smarter than you are, when someone asks who said something reply, very knowingly, "It's from the Bible or Shakespeare."

You'll be right 50% of the time.

Anything to make you look better.