bookofjoe

The Unswept — by Sharon Olds

Broken bay leaf. Olive pit.
Crab leg. Claw. Crayfish armor.
Whelk shell. Mussel shell. Dogwinkle. Snail.
Wishbone tossed unwished on. Test
of sea urchin. Chicken foot.
Wrasse skeleton. Hen head,
eye shut, beak open as if
singing in the dark. Laid down in tiny
tiles, each by the rhyparographer,
each scrap has a shadow — each shadow cast
by a different light. Permanently fresh
husks of the feast! When the guest has gone,
the morsels dropped on the floor are left
as food for the dead — O my characters,
my imagined, here are some fancies of crumbs
from under love's table.

Nail Extractor

Designed and constructed to do one thing better than any other tool in the world.

From the website:

Patented design allows the jaws to stay parallel and automatically increase gripping force as greater resistance is encountered.

Once the extraction has been initiated, only a prying action is necessary; the handles no longer need to be squeezed.

Curved heel (below) enables the nail or other fastener to be lifted with minimal surface damage.



Serrated teeth for a slip–free grip even on the most stubborn objects.

Long handles (tool is 11" long) provide greater leverage.

$22.50 here.

Crayola — Politically correct since 1962

Actually, the revisionism in color names began four years earlier than that, in 1958, when "Prussian Blue" was changed to "Midnight Blue" because of teachers' complaints that students were clueless about the history of the Baltic kingdom.

1962 marked the beginning of real political correctness, however, with the "voluntary" name change by the Crayola company of "Flesh" to "Peach."

The company acknowledges on its website that this was done "partially as a result of the U.S. Civil Rights Movement."

The next change occurred in 1999 after teachers complained that "some children wrongly perceived that the crayon color 'Indian Red' was intended to represent the skin color of Native Americans."

It became "Chestnut."

Crayola colors came in eight colors when they were introduced in 1903: black, blue, brown, green, violet, yellow, orange and red.

A box of crayons cost a nickle.

Today there are 120 colors, including:

Inch Worm

Jazzberry Jam

Tropical Rain Forest

Manatee

Bittersweet

Razzmatazz

Richard Morin, in his "Unconventional Wisdom" column in the August 14 Washington Post, wrote about a series of experiments carried out by Elizabeth G. Miller of Boston College and Barbara E. Kahn of the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania to see if people responded more positively to ambiguous color and flavor names or to more specific ones.

Their findings appeared in the June issue of the Journal of Consumer Research.

Long story short: people overwhelmingly preferred things with vague names, whether it was food, clothing or anything else.

Why does ambiguity sell?

Miller and Kahn speculated that, without real information, consumers try to understand why the product has such a jazzy name and fill in the blanks with imagined desirable qualities.

Sounds a lot like love.

Oh, yeah — I almost forgot: that's a picture of an inchworm at the top of this post.

What color do you see?

WiseCracker™ Crab Splitter and Cracker

I happened on this stylish kitchen and table tool in I.D. magazine, where it was named one of last year's most innovative and stylish kitchen tools.

Features:

• Splits shell with ease

• Pick on handle can be used to pull away meat from shell

• Unique design keeps hands away from sharp shells

How to use it: "Simply push WiseCracker™ into the shell, squeeze the handle, release, split and presto! Perfectly exposed crab."

I.D. judge Laurene Boym declared it perfect for "foodies with fetishes."

It was invented by David Holcomb, an inventor and the CEO of Chef'n.

Made of nylon and stainless steel.

$14.95 here.

Sensational Illuminated Clothing by Dr. Janet Hansen

Her doctorate is in bioengineering but her passion is fashion and she's combined the two in ways you've never before seen or even imagined.

She started Enlighted Designs in 1998 and it has become the trendsetter in combining fashion form with technological function.

Amazingly, her stuff isn't made for art shows and exhibits but, rather, for people like you and me who want something a little different.

Or a lot different.

Spend some time on her website and see if think you'd look cool in flame pants that literally look like they're burning up.

"That's hot."

Or perhaps a shirt or blouse with

illuminated buttons?

There's a Mardi Gras suit

for when you're down in the Big Easy after it recovers.

And you'll be the dancing queen in your illuminated halter (top), that's for sure — "great for dancing!"

[via popgadget]

Instant Closet

You'd walk by and not even notice it when it wasn't in use.

But when it's time to hang up what needs to be hung up you just flip open this little device and voila, 14" of hanging space holding up to 60 lbs.

3.6"W x 22"H x 16"D when open.

$19.99 here.

Extreme–Accounting.com: 'A new phenomenon that pushes accountants to their limits — and beyond!'

The eyeshades are off and the quiet women and men in the back room are ready to throw down and rock 'n roll.

After centuries of being shepherded into windowless rooms and dusty closets, accountants are throwing off their calculators and saying, "I'm here — and I'm accountable!"

Oh, yeah.

From the website:

On this site you'll find everything you need to understand the life–changing experience of Extreme–Accounting.



There's the long and noble history of accounting pioneers who inspired me as well as a range of ways for you to become an E-A yourself and share the results with us all.

Please, take the time to explore the site — don't worry: it's really quite safe and guaranteed 84.5% free of made–up facts and figures!

Arnold Chiswick
Major, 1st Airborne Insolvency Division
Founder and Sec., Extreme–Accounting

There's all manner of fun things to do on the site, including a movie entitled "The Return of The Amortiser" and a game called "Book Balance Dive."

[via Barney Jopson and the Financial Times]

Soda Can Resealer

Accept no substitutes: this one "pops" when it's locked.

Pressing the center unseals it.

"Soda retains fizz — locks in carbonation."

Plastic with rubber suction.

2.75" diameter.

$2.99 here.