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January 2, 2006
'Completely stupid, useless and dangerous' — From the first finalist for this year's Best Comment of the Year Award
That would be Wolfie, who just hours ago contributed a screed (in the comments section) about yesterday's Neo–Nordic Skateboard Chair post.
Among other things, Wolfie wrote:
- Get your head out of the sand.
According to your bio, you are in the medical field.
We are shocked and appalled at your total lack of concern for any safety aspect in this dangerously designed piece of equipment.
...The mindless gravity of your [that would be moi] comment.
Grab a brain, Joe, or better yet, look into buying one online, it's obvious you weren't thinking regarding this item, in any way, shape or form.
********************
Well.
Contrary to Wolfie and his posse (I say "and his posse" because of Wolfie's choice of the pronoun "we"), I thought very deeply about the Neo–Nordic Skateboard Chair.
Now, there are those who say that my motto ought to be that of Surface magazine, i.e., "A mile wide and an inch deep," but hey, that's what I'm working with.
The great American philosopher Josiah Royce wrote, "Education is learning to use the tools which the race has found indispensable," and I have to think that if he were alive today he would most likely share Wolfie et al's sentiments.
But guess what?
I'm quick and Royce is dead.
And if he returns, then hey — let him start his own blog.
But I digress.
Without further ado, then, here is the superb comment in its entirety.
Not one word has been omitted.
- Wrote Wolfie:
This is an emergency room tragedy waiting to happen. A chair with skateboard wheels on it? What fool decided this was going to be a functional piece of furniture? Completely stupid, useless and dangerous... And you are glorifying and advertising it like it's some cool new trendy piece of functional furniture? Get your head out of the sand and do some research into the injury rate of similarly designed items before you decide they're 'ideal'. According to your bio, you are in the medical field. We are shocked and appalled at your total lack of concern for any safety aspect in this dangerously designed piece of garbage. Not one of the adults or young people we showed this to could believe the mindless gravity of your comment, 'If I were the X–Games I'd name this the official chair and hope they'd send one.' This chair will most likely be responsible for a great many injuries, possibly worse. It's about the most dangerous item we've yet to encounter in ions. Grab a brain Joe, or better yet, look into buying one online, it's obvious you weren't thinking regarding this item, in any way shape or form.
********************
"It's about the most dangerous item we've yet to encounter in ions."
I could not have said it better.
January 2, 2006 at 10:31 AM | Permalink
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Comments
Oh, Jesus.
I've just noticed that my chair -- the very chair that I'm sitting in -- has not one, not two, but five wheels on it.
Somebody call preemptively call 911!
Posted by: Waldo Jaquith | Jan 2, 2006 6:22:30 PM
Judging from Wolfie's response, I expect he has sent an email to every skateboarding manufacturer telling them that their products are stupid, useless, and dangerous. And probably every furniture manufacturer that has decided to put wheels on its chairs.
Posted by: Josh | Jan 2, 2006 1:39:43 PM
Hey, at least he didn't bring your mama into it. I had one recently that questioned my mother's ability to raise a child fit for society.
My reply to him began with, "Please forgive me. I am a motherless child."
But there is a lining here...I see my next t-shirt forming in front of my eyes already, "stupid, useless and dangerous." ;) It will be the male version of my "loud, dirty, boozy girl" t-shirt that has been a smashing success. (OK, OK, I sold one - but that's one more than the other 100 designs so far!)
Posted by: Shawn Lea | Jan 2, 2006 11:41:55 AM
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