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January 1, 2006

MorphWorld: Janice Dickinson into one scary person


She was the world's first supermodel, exploding out of nowhere in the early 1970s, while still a teenager, to grace the covers of scores of fashion magazines worldwide.

The camera simply could not get enough of her.

Her autobiography, "No Lifeguard On Duty," published in 2003 when she turned 50, is a remarkable book — candid, trashy, revelatory, depressing, funny as heck and ultimately amazing in that Ms. Dickinson survived long enough to write it.

She has absolutely no fear, it seems, and names names — lots and lots of boldface names — sometimes in stories that I'm sure caused major squirming among those mentioned.

I call her book the female equivalent of "Scar Tissue," the searing autobiography of Anthony Kiedis, lead singer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Last week came the news that Ms. Dickinson has signed on for a new reality series, to air next spring on the Oxygen network.

Along with the announcement were pictures of her (below)


in her current state of plastic surgery turnaround.

I don't know how many operations she's had but if I were her I'd call it a day in the OR.

Time does not do good things to the artifice of the plastic surgeon: the result is wonderful once the healing ends but then slowly and inexorably unravels.

Gravity always wins in the end.

I do agree, however, that her driver's license picture (below)


is just great.

January 1, 2006 at 02:01 PM | Permalink


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shes a little 2 headstrong 4 me but shes a great model!!

Posted by: kourtney | Sep 20, 2007 9:52:41 PM

janice eras la modelo mas hermosa que hay y va aver en la tierra

Posted by: Narigon | Sep 1, 2007 3:38:11 AM

she is my new hero right behind angelina,cher& one or two others im too hung over (insert new years) to remember-- consantly reinventing themselves--always interesting--
if you were a 50 something woman you would appreciate how great she looks all-be-it- a tad plastic

Posted by: mbpmbp2 | Jan 2, 2006 2:03:48 PM

Girl, you just made a sale! Love that subtitle, Dating, Mating, and Extricating. Indispensible. Plato can wait!

Posted by: Flutist | Jan 1, 2006 5:42:39 PM

The answer lies in the title of the follow-up to the first book, "Everything About Me is Fake...And I'm Perfect." Read an excerpt here: http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/006055469X/ref=sib_dp_pop_ex/103-9056776-2485427?%5Fencoding=UTF8&p=S00Z#reader-link

But how could you not like a woman who takes the time to let a girl know why her $600 bathing suit is not fitting just right? She's OK in my book - no matter what the hell she looks like.

In fact, I like her so much, I'm going to encourage all joeheads to pre-order her 2006 book, Check Please!: How to Pick Up Guys...And Dump Them When You're Done: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060763914/qid=1136150904/sr=1-3/ref=sr_1_3/103-9056776-2485427?s=books&v=glance&n=283155

Two very important things every girl needs to know after all - with instructions from a master.

Posted by: Shawn Lea | Jan 1, 2006 4:35:49 PM

I'm going to have to read her book. Sounds like it could make for an excellent trash read, in between my re-readings of Moby Dick and Plato and Eugene O'Neill. NOT.

Which makes me think of something that as usual isn't really related to anything but anyhow, years ago I saw this cartoon in the New Yorker (I mean, where else?) and, having been in all kinds of musical ensembles but especially marching bands all throughout my school years it really spoke to me, it showed a very strange looking band on a football field, the members all dressed in black and kind of zombie-faced, spelling out, marching-band style, the words "Call me Ishmael.." Yeah, it was by Charles Addams. It's still magneted to my fridge and to this day it still renders me limp with laughter.

The good ones never die.

Posted by: Flutist | Jan 1, 2006 3:55:18 PM

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