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February 6, 2006

Vena Cava — Best new fashion designer name of 2006

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Sure, the year's just getting its footing but it's gonna be hard to beat Vena Cava in this 7th Avenue groupie's mind.

The line's principals (Lisa Mayock, left foreground above, next to her partner Sophie Buhai) got major ink in Cathy Horyn's story on today's New York Times fashion page, where she wrote about a number of new female designers whose shows she attended last week.

Below,

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a skinny top and print skirt from Vena Cava's fall collection.

Horyn wrote of Vena Cava's new line, "Nothing looked sweet or innocent."

My kind of clothes.

February 6, 2006 at 04:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Cartier's New Left–Handed Timepiece Collection

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After over a century of of shoving right–handed awkwardness across the corpus callosum of the 10% of the population who favor their left hand, Cartier's woken up as of earlier today and smelled the coffee.

Hey, just like me... I knew there was a resemblance there....

But I digress.

If you will now please open the first section of your New York Times and look at page two you will espy, occupying the middle third of the two columns to the far left, the ad pictured above.

From the ad:

    A little to the left

    The new left–handed timepiece collection by Cartier

    Cartier has redesigned the Santos 100, Steel Roadster, Pasha 42 and Tank Américaine timepieces just for the left–handed.

    They're perfect for lefties who want the precision of a Cartier timepiece.

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No — don't waste your time and energy on Cartier's brain–dead Flash–filled website that will take you nowhere very fast (we're talkin' warp speed here).

There's not a trace of these new watches on the site — at least, not where my crack research team could unearth them after a combined 65 woman–hours spent trying earlier today.

February 6, 2006 at 03:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Lumb–R–Grip™ — Ingenious product, terrible name

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I mean, come on: Get–A–Grip™, Sky Hook™, anything but the name they chose, which sounds like a treatment for low back pain.

Ah, well — a rose by any other name, I guess.

From the website:

    Corral Clutter!

    Lumb-R-Grip™ hooks let you hang sports equipment, luggage, cans of paint, garden tools, pool equipment and more.

    Amazing hooks grab onto any exposed timber and hold up to 200 lbs.

    Reclaim the space in your garage, basement and attic without buying expensive storage bins, baskets or crates.

    No tools needed to install, remove or reposition.

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"As seen on TV" so you know it must be good.

Eight for $19.98.

February 6, 2006 at 01:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack

How to advertise on bookofjoe — free

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In the real world people spend endless hours keeping their sites free of unwanted garbage, ugly comments, annoying nonsequiturs and the like.

Here in joeWorld™, what with our being located in a wormhole just off the beaten Bizarro World path, we take precisely the opposite approach.

So, without further ado (does he have any brothers, I wonder?...), here is the official bookofjoe Guide to Advertising™.

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1) Close readers will have noticed that the crack research team (Comment Division) does a pretty good job keeping up (in real time) with duplicate, annoying, troubling or threatening posts and their ilk, deleting them only after banning their IP locations forever as an insertion locus for bookofjoe commentary.

But guess what? I do let them [crack research team (Comment Division)] take off between 1 a.m. and 9 a.m. ET to do their laundry and errands, refill their meds and maybe even catch forty winks.

I sleep during that time as well.

Therefore, anyone can throw anything — absolutely anything — up into the comments section during that eight hour period and guarantee themselves world–wide exposure — free! — for the duration, until we wake up and disappear your bothersome self forever.

2) Other than that, you have no chance of buying your way on board here either as a feature post or in the comments.

That was easy.

I can't believe Staples got there before one of the Dead Company Walking™ telcos.

Sorry, gang, but it's been done.

February 6, 2006 at 12:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Great St. Valentine's Day Gift For Under a Buck

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That's right, I've found something very cool for your special sweetie that won't reek of over–the–top yet will endear you long after she's forgotten your name.

Oh — maybe that's not the best way I could've put it, huh?

No matter, you know that's how it's gonna end up, far more likely than not: why play pretend at your age?

I mean, how old are you now, anyway?

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That's what I thought.

But I digress.

From the website:

    Lipstick Mirror

    These peel-and-stick mirrors turn your lipsticks into mini–compacts.

    Just attach one of the 5/8"-diameter mirrors to the end of the tube and you're ready for quick touch–ups in a car, on a plane or at the theater.

    Set of 3 features smooth-edge trim.

Note: It would probably work out much better for you if you gave one to each of three girls who do not know each other or work in the same place.

I'm just saying....

Three for $2.99.

Note: Also useful for subtle over–the–shoulder surveillance at clubs and whatnot.

February 6, 2006 at 11:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Lord of War

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I watched this powerful and absorbing film about a world–class arms dealer, played by Nicolas Cage, on DVD last night.

It's said to be based on a true story and I have no doubt that is so.

I mean, someone has to be selling all the armaments to the wretched nations of the earth's "freedom fighters," as the film sardonically notes.

The opening sequence is terrific: you do not want to be at the refreshment stand or visiting the W.C. once the film starts to roll.

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Ethan Hawke, whom I didn't recognize until halfway through the movie, so different does he look playing a buzz–cut, frustrated, by–the–books Interpol operative trying to catch Cage's arms dealer in the act and put him away forever, is excellent.

The most interesting point made by the film: that the end of the Cold War was the jumping–off point for the spread of guns and ammo et al big–time around the globe.

Because there were an awful lot of lethal weapons sitting around NIB (new in box, a term I'm told is part of the lingua franca of eBay) with no place to go and nothing to do.

Enter arms brokers, prepared to move those munitions anywhere to anyone at any time.

Very sobering.

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As Cage's character remarks, at the very beginning of the film, "There are over 550 million firearms in worldwide circulation. That's one firearm for every twelve people on the planet. The only question is: 'How do we arm the other 11?'"

February 6, 2006 at 10:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

World's Best Wine Bottle Stopper

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So maybe you don't need this what with the pluck you drink but hey, you never know when your ship will come in and all of sudden there you are all by yourself with an open bottle of Chateau d'Yquem.

You know how sleepy you get after one glass of wine so now what're you gonna do?

Stick a cork in it?

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I don't think so.

That's why it's nice to have this overengineered piece of kit from Rösle in your kitchen, just in case.

From the website:

    Tightly reseal opened bottles with a turn on the top loop, pressing the lower silicone ring firmly against the neck.

    Made in Germany.

    9.3 cm (3.6") L.

    Stainless steel.

    Hand wash.

$24.95 here.

Full disclosure: one of my readers, I believe Stephen Bové, recommended Rösle's can opener (below)

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to me last year when I was on about finding the perfect tool for this task.

He was right: the Rösle is the best I've ever used — and trust me, I've gone through at least a dozen different designs over the years — for easily opening a can and at the same time crimping the sharp metal such that there are no dangerous edges.

$30 here.

Note the hanging ring for storage — no aspect of the device's purpose and overall usefulness was overlooked by Rösle's dedicated, unrelenting and uncompromising designers.

I'll bet you a MacBook Pro that Steve Jobs has Rösle tools in his kitchen.

February 6, 2006 at 09:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBack

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