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February 14, 2006

Insomniac Alarm Clock


Seems an oxymoron, doesn't it?

I mean, if you can't sleep then why would you need an alarm clock to awaken you from a place you never were?

No matter: one of the cardinal tenets of bookofjoe is that things need not make sense to be interesting.

In fact, the two may comprise a zero–sum corundum.

Wait a minute... that's not right.

It's so hard sometimes to get it right.

Tell me moh.

What was that all about?

From the website:

    Glow–In–The–Dark Alarm Clock

    Here's everything you want in an alarm clock and more!

    It features a luminous, glow–in–the–dark face with large, easy–to–read numbers so you can easily tell the time without turning on the light.

    Plus, it has a digital temperature display and dependable alarm.

    Made of sturdy plastic with a precision quartz movement.

    Uses one AA battery (not included).


The digital temperature display is what makes this clock special.

At 4 a.m., when you're really at your wit's end and fretting about how exhausted you're gonna be later in the morning when you need to be at your absolute best, you can distract yourself by breathing on the clock's temperature sensor and watching the display change.

It's all about control in the end.

But then, you already knew that, didn't you....

Didn't you?


February 14, 2006 at 03:01 PM | Permalink


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WTF? if i cant get to sleep i should let this little no-it-all clock stare me in the face and mock my insomnia? Why don't i just get up and turn the lights on, or maybe turn the TV up, or tell my neighbor a floor above me to have a raging party at my expence. This is a rediculous product, and i hope the maker has to spend all time and eternity in hell watching this F'N clock!

Posted by: RUceriOus | Feb 15, 2006 10:09:26 AM

Identity crisis over...a flutist by any other word, or name, or whatever...

But I don't want a clock with great big giant glow-in-the-dark numbers mocking me with every tick like some kind of Edgar Allan Poe nightmare! Why not make one that puts out a muffled thud-thud, thud-thud, and projects a pale blue watery eye on the wall? Aaaarrgh! True, nervous, very very nervous I had been, and am, but why will you say that I'm one spoon short of a setting? And anyway, I'M not an insomniac = the rest of the world is just way late.

Flutst scale of hardness:
1. Irritating controller
2. Mean know-it-all
3. Scathing s.o.b.
4. Castrating martinet
5. Sadistic, punishing hell-child of Satan

Posted by: Flutist | Feb 15, 2006 1:45:08 AM

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