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March 29, 2006

milliondollarhomepage, hundredthousanddollarhomepage and ...?


After last week's singularly boring, depressing week living in Tower Room 403 of the Sheraton Richmond West Hotel (above — the Tower is the structure to the right side of the picture; my room was on the side opposite the one you're looking at, overlooking the hotel parking lot and Interstate 64) and commuting daily to the hospital to give anesthesia from Monday through Friday, I'm back here at home, strolling blissfully on my treadmill as I type these words and trying mightily to get my peabrain in gear enough to figure out a way to no longer have to even occasionally give anesthesia because I need the money.

Here's a cerebral spasm just in: create a web page which will let fans, friends, readers, occasional or accidental visitors, enemies, anyone who's willing to pony up, put up a picture of themself or anyone else they like for a monetary consideration.

But here's the twist: find someone who knows how to make the overall picture, comprised of lots of little paid–for pictures, be that of me as seen in the upper right hand corner of bookofjoe.



Hey, there's gotta be a better way than sitting — or, in my case, standing — in the OR listening to horrible music while surgeons tell the same stories over and over and patients try their very best to die on me.

None succeeded last week but not for want of trying.

I had to laugh at myself after a case on Thursday where I simply could not get an endotracheal tube in — not even a 6.0 with a stylet — without running a serious risk of cracking or breaking off one of the patient's beautiful front crowns.

So I stepped back from the brink — after doing anesthesia for a while you come to realize that not persevering in your original course of action doesn't mean you've failed — and did the case (knee arthroscopy) with a mask, letting the woman breathe nitrous/isoflurane spontaneously.

Tell you what: it's been a while since I did a mask case; I tend to tube everyone.

Too many reports and stories of unanticipated emesis/regurgitation followed by aspiration in patients supposedly NPO since forever.

Anyhow, after the case was over (it took about 45 minutes but seemed much longer, as things do when you're not having a very good time), I noticed that I had the not–experienced–for–many–many–years bilateral claw hand syndrome, where your hands are so stiff from holding the mask tightly against the patient's face that for the next several hours when you try to write anything it looks likes you've got major spasticity issues.

Mine lasted about two hours, during which time I created a recovery room record that might well qualify for a passing grade in penmanship class over at the chimpanzee pavilion.


Above, me as I might have looked then.

But I digress.

What I need is someone (or someones) with the technical capacity to figure out how to actually make happen the pixel project outlined above.

Like the man said — it ain't me, babe.

Alex Tew, the guy who created the milliondollarhomepage, twigged; the folks here at onehundredthousanddollarhomepage haven't done nearly as well — when I last looked they'd raked in a grand total of $2,530 to date.

It's all about being the first mover.

March 29, 2006 at 10:01 AM | Permalink


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Uh, a little scary to have one's life hanging in the balance with a guy that hates his job like you do. Come on Doc, time for a change.

Posted by: nina | Mar 29, 2006 10:58:19 PM

LMA, Bullard, spinal, mask, epidural, . Too bad you didn't have a resident to wield the mask. But if you hate anesthesia, you should do something else, or maybe work where you can stay at home. Maybe take some of those ideas you keep giving away for free...

Posted by: Anomymeme | Mar 29, 2006 8:44:18 PM

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