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March 7, 2006

Napoleon Dynamite* Instant Table Stabilizer

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From the bookofjoe skunk works comes this stroke of perspiration... wait a minute — that can't be right, can it?

No matter — we're thinking at warp speed here and don't have time for white noise.

Ever find yourself annoyed by a table in a coffee shop or restaurant that wobbles because one leg is too short?

Yes, I know — you could just as well say that's the result of the other three legs being too long but if that's your position, I suggest you look deep into your soul and ask yourself, "How's my chi today?"

Well?

How is it?

Thought so.

No matter, we're emitting on a supersecret frequency known only to Kenneth and we don't have time for fuzzy reception.

Or logic.

But I digress.

Now, you're probably wondering where this is going.

Me too.

So, there you are, at Babbo or Caribou Coffee or wherever and you notice your table's rockin' — and no one's knockin'.

Sorry — a flashback from a bumper sticker I once saw on a Volkswagen van, back in the day.

Well, guess what?

Balance is at hand — maybe not literally, since you'll probably have to get up — but in the house, how's that?

Go over to the area with the sweeteners and half–and–half and all and grab a couple packets of sugar.

Put one under the short leg of your table.

Better, eh?

Keep adding packets until stability happens.

Hey, what a great bumper sticker:

    Stability Happens

Om.

But I digress yet again.

Isn't that a great solution?

Okui

*Sweet

********************

STOP PRESS

Just in from Japan, a somewhat more technical solution

Flat

to the problem of table stabilization.

March 7, 2006 at 10:01 AM | Permalink


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