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June 1, 2006

Ms. bookofjoettiquete


It's a new feature, running for the very first time today.

Aren't you excited?

I'm not — but I pay you to be.

So get with the program or it's out back to the woodshed with you.

Now, where was I?

Oh, yeah — my newest feature.

Today's inaugural installment is entitled, "How to accept a compliment."

Here goes: I'm jumping sans parachute... hope I land in a soft bush.

    How To Accept A Compliment

    Have you ever noticed how most people, when given a compliment, say things like, "It's about time you noticed," or "It's nothing," or "No, not really?"

    That's rude.

    Because what they're doing is telling the person giving the compliment, in effect, that they're wrong.

    How much nicer, more appropriate and gracious to simply say, "Thank you."

    And yet not one person in a hundred does.

    Try it — I promise it will improve the quality of your — and others' — lives.

    And isn't that the only reason to use up oxygen, really?

    To make life a little better and sweeter for others?

    If you don't agree, please don't ask for a jump seat when the mother ship comes to take me back to my home planet.

June 1, 2006 at 04:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Road Rage Cards: 'Relax — and let the flip-book do the screaming!'


Invented by Mika Larson, who sells them from her website named — surprise! — roadrage.com.

You get a spiral-bound book of 8- by 11-inch cards, each with one of 43 messages, for $19.99.

But here's the stroke of genius: on the back of each card is the mirror-image of the message so the doofus ahead of you can read it in their rearview mirror.


[via Joe Sharkey's "On The Road" column in the May 23 New York Times]

June 1, 2006 at 03:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack





Toons —


and coming soon, Games.

June 1, 2006 at 02:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Your own private 7-Eleven [hot dog roller] — Episode 2: In which the hand yields to powered rotation


Jeez, wasn't just this past Monday that I featured the 7-Eleven hot dog roller?

Well, guess what?

The engineers have been busy out back in the skunk works taking it to the next level.

You knew it was only a matter of time till you could have your own private 7-Eleven automatic rotating hot dog grilling station right at home.

The only thing we failed to realize was how little time it would take — but hey, this internet stuff moves really quickly, I heard, so maybe it shouldn't be such a surprise.

From the website:

    Hot Dog Roller

    Automatic hot dog grill-top roller cooks evenly to prevent burning or undercooking and eliminates tedious hand turning.

    Rotates up to five sausages or hot dogs.

    Disassembles for easy cleaning.

    Uses 4 C batteries.



Industrial art at its very best.

$39.98 (batteries — and hot dogs — not included).

June 1, 2006 at 01:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

'No daughter buys her mother's label... the only exception is Chanel'


The quotation above is from fashion industry consultant Gloria Gelfand.

It was buried deep within a long May 25 New York Times Styles section front-page story by Eric Wilson about the implosion of the St. John knitwear line since it attempted to refocus on a younger audience 18 months ago.

Long story short: the company tossed its long-time face, Kelly Gray, overboard in favor of first Gisele and now Angelina Jolie (above, in a current St. John ad).

It has not gone well.

But that's of little interest to me — though I will say I found the Kelly Gray ads far more interesting than the generic ones the company now runs.

But I digress.

What interests me is Ms. Gelfand's observation about how the success of a fashion house now seems limited to one generation of women — never more.

How did Chanel manage to stay hot with both Paris's crowd and the social X-rays?

That's the fascinating, billion-dollar question for companies like Valentino and Dior.

June 1, 2006 at 12:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Silk Toilet Tie


Say what?

How about a close-up?


Now do you see?

From the website:

    Toilet Tie

    Indulge your man’s penchant for potty humor by dressing him in this amusing toilet tie.

    A navy background is discreetly covered in a repeating pattern of tiny golden "thrones," making this a witty gift for those guys who think they are the kings of their castles.

    With its combination of traditional colors and unexpected iconography, this is the perfect accessory for husbands (and plumbers) everywhere.


What — nothing for the girls who know a lug wrench from a lag bolt?


The tie is $34.

June 1, 2006 at 11:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

We get email — from:


Just in yesterday at 4:14:52 p.m., it follows.

Not one word has been omitted.

    From: Mike Harney
    Subject: Substance and style
    To: Joseph Stirt

    I hesitate to mention this since I don't even know you, but I want to say it because I enjoy the blog and wish to keep reading it.

    I fear I may not be able to much longer.

    You see, the distinctive habit you have of making every sentence its own paragraph is somewhat grating, especially when it comes to pasted-in stories from other web sources.

    Okay, I'll admit it.

    It's actually gone all the way to annoying.

    To me, anyway.

    Maybe to some others as well.

    In fact, in a fashion similar to what happens when I see spelling errors in other corners of the web, the odd paragraphing -- or, shall we say, non-paragraphing since that's what it is -- almost jumps off the screen, twists my brain a little bit, and squeezes my eyeballs.


    Is the point that you don't like the original paragraphing in any story you read and you have to change them because they make you experience symptoms similar to those I described above?

    Are you, in fact, a better editor than every newspaper, magazine, and web editor out there today?

    Because it could easily seem that you feel that way, since you pepper carriage returns willy-nilly into pretty much everything I've read here.

    Or is it that you're trying to create dramatic pauses?

    I mean really artificial dramatic pauses.

    In my opinion, dramatic pauses automatically lose their drama after about three occurrences.

    Sometimes I wonder, "Could it be bookofjoe content is all part of a research paper that has to be a certain number of pages when done?"

    "Is this the blog equivalent of triple-spacing to pad out a woefully short assignment?"

    In any of these cases, I'm sorry to say, it's getting old.

    Very old indeed.

    Very sorry to say, actually, since it's really none of my business.

    I just had to vent.

    I hope you take this in the good-natured spirit in which it is meant.

    By the way, I just finished reading "When the Air Hits Your Brain" after reading your recommendation a few weeks ago, and found it fairly fascinating. I found myself wishing for a lot more patient stories than he included, though. Thanks for the tip.

    Mike Harney



I listen to two things in the world: my readers and my Rice Krispies (not necessarily in that order).

Should I cease-and-desist per Mike's suggestion or continue as I am?

U tell me.

joeheads, it's your turn.

June 1, 2006 at 10:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (24) | TrackBack

Mistake Erasers


The three pictured


come as a set:



June 1, 2006 at 09:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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