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August 24, 2006

Happy Two-Year Anniversary to bookofjoe — The Atlantic sends me my very first ever 'cease-and-desist' order


I am so stoked.

Just 57 minutes ago, at 3:04:44 p.m. (ET), while I was moseying along here on the treadmill thinking about something close to nothing, but different than the day before, in came the email pictured above.

Not one word has been omitted

Memo to self: Send a copy of my compliance email to Jim Fallows, the author of the article to be taken down; I'm sure he'll find it as amusing as I did.

So great.

Finally — proof that bookofjoe exists.

Next thing you know they'll be telling us there's intelligent life on Earth.


After talking things over with my executive committee (the Rice Krispies happened to be out of the office) it's been decided that the fateful post — which, incidentally, already contained a link to the Atlantic article, as suggested by the magazine's Permissions department — will remain up and intact until 10:01 p.m. (ET) tonight, at which time the text of the article in question will be disappeared from bookofjoe forever.

So if you want to read it there instead of on the Atlantic's website, well, you've got less than six hours before it turns into a pumpkin.

Fair warning.

I always knew there was a mole among my readers... wonder who it was who reported me?

Every blogger needs her or his own dedicated and focused Stasi impersonator; it's good to know I've got that base covered.

August 24, 2006 at 04:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Portable Sauna-4-One


They were wrong — you can take it with you.

From the catalog and website:

Solo System™ Sauna

Soothing, full-body therapeutic heat treatments for one

The Solo System Sauna consists of a double dome and pad that allow you to focus heat therapy where you need it most.

The portable domes can be used on the floor, in a bed, on a massage table or sitting in a chair.

Domes fold for easy travel.

Includes two absorbent Spungi towels.

69"L x 28"W x 18"H.

Weight: 68 lbs.

Benefits of the Solo System Sauna

The Solo Systems Sauna can provide relief to patients suffering from arthritis, chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, and certain skin conditions.

It can also be used to cool down from exercise or to lose weight.

Daily exposure to far-infrared heat may provide a variety of additional benefits including:

• Pain relief

• Lower blood pressure

• Boost the immune and cardiovascular systems

• Burn fat and calories

• Detoxify the body

• Release toxins and fat

• Promote natural healing by purifying the cells that store wastes and harmful toxins, such as cholesterol and heavy metals

• Speed oxygen flow and increase circulation and mobility

• Relax and revitalize the spirit

"It can also be used to cool down from exercise."

Maybe if you worked out on the surface of Mercury or Venus.

Oh, stop being so negative, joe.


Where can you get one?


Right here — for $2,499.

August 24, 2006 at 03:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

'Like taking a fiction workshop with Captain Hook'


The headline above is how Kevin Canty, a student of writer Harry Crews (above and below) in the late 1980s in Crews' creative writing class at the University of Florida, described the experience of learning from Professor Crews.

Another former student, Lucy Harrison, told David Shaftel, whose New York Times story about Crews appeared this past Tuesday, August 22, that "It was kind of odd walking into a class and your professor has this fan club in the class with you."

Clearly Lucy has never visited bookofjoe World Headquarters™.

But I digress.

Long story short: After an eight-year period without publishing a book, Crews this past June had his 23rd book published by a small press in Los Angeles.

Most of the 500 copies sold so far have been purchased in Florida, where Crews, who lives in the city of Gainesville, has his biggest following.

Here's the Times piece.

    Harry Crews, Aging Wild Man, Publishes Again, Quietly

    In June, the literary wild man Harry Crews published the latest book — his 23rd — in his continuing saga of the roughneck South. The book, “An American Family,” a novella about the violent demise and unexpected redemption of an abusive husband, is Mr. Crews’s first in eight years. Unlike most of the others, it was published not by a mainstream publishing house, but by a little-known small press, Blood and Guts, based in Los Angeles.

    “ ‘An American Family’ popped up out of the blue,” said Craig Graham, the owner of Blood and Guts and a longtime fan of Mr. Crews. “He just had finished it and called me and asked if I wanted to read it. I said, ‘Of course.’ ” Blood and Guts had reprinted an earlier novella by Mr. Crews, so this became the second book of his that it had published.

    Blood and Guts quietly printed 2,000 hardcover copies of the book, with an additional 326 copies that were signed. Mr. Graham says he has shipped about 500 copies so far, most of them to Florida, where Mr. Crews, 71, has his biggest following.

    “He doesn’t want to do any publicity or travel any more and he was very firm about that,” Mr. Graham said. “I had no interest in having him tortured going around to book signings.” As a result, the book has scarcely been reviewed outside Gainesville, Fla., where Mr. Crews lives.

    “An American Family” resembles the violent denouement of some of Mr. Crews’s longer works. The story follows Major Melton, an English teacher at a junior college, as he is ritualistically humiliated by his battered wife; his best friend, Pete (whom Melton suspects is the real father of his child); and Pete’s father, a former novelist and “famous crazy person” who rehabilitates deranged pit bulls and eventually hangs himself over Melton’s dining room table.

    Though he has never achieved widespread fame, Mr. Crews has a substantial cult following and legions of former students and protégés who champion his coarse, macho portrayals of the South. And fans of Mr. Crews’s Gothic tales of emasculation, blood sport, sideshow freaks, sexual deviance and, often, salvation track the author’s movements on the Internet or by word of mouth. They discovered the new book after Mr. Graham shipped copies to an independent Gainesville bookstore and news of its release was posted on a Web site dedicated to Mr. Crews.

    While many of Mr. Crews’s books have been reviewed favorably, it was a series of adventures as a columnist for Playboy and Esquire in the 70’s that elevated him to cult status. (While covering the construction of the Alaskan pipeline, Mr. Crews said he woke up from a bender with a cabinet hinge tattooed on the inside of his elbow.) Since then, Mr. Crews has been invoked to represent a gruff Southern reality, most recently in “Searching for the Wrong-Eyed Jesus,” a documentary portrait of the rural South by the English filmmaker Andrew Douglas, which was released in the United States in 2005.

    Though his body is breaking down from a life hard lived, Mr. Crews said in a telephone interview that he still writes every day and his door is open to legions of former students, young writers and searchers.

    “Nobody has ever been turned away,” Mr. Crews said, his speech peppered with eloquent spasms of Southern-accented profanity. “Why would I turn them away? Everyone has terrible and wonderful mysteries just dripping off of them.”

    Mr. Crews walks with a cane, his knees ruined by a series of motorcycle accidents and his feet hobbled by nerve damage. But when he was visited at his home recently, he remained a large and physically imposing figure, with a pallid face, close-cropped gray hair and crystalline blue eyes that make him look like an apparition. His house is decorated with pictures that cement his status as a man’s man — one shows him with Charles Bronson, the actor, and another is of a hawk Mr. Crews once tamed.

    Mr. Crews, the son of Georgia tenant farmers, taught creative writing at the University of Florida for nearly 30 years before retiring in 1997. His blunt style, combined with his often rowdy behavior, led to an estrangement from the more erudite world of academia.

    “Everybody in the system is scared to death,” he said in the telephone interview. “Professors are scared of department heads,” he said. “They’re just scared little people hiding out. And these other scared little people come and sit in a scared little class and tremble. I didn’t want to do that. Let’s do something memorable, and if we can’t do something memorable, then let’s go home. Or we’ll go across the street and get a drink.”

    Mr. Crews was struggling with sobriety by the time Kevin Canty studied with him in the late 80’s. “It was like taking a fiction workshop with Captain Hook,” said Mr. Canty, who is now a novelist and a professor himself. Everyone had a favorite Harry Crews story, said Mr. Canty, who had heard that Mr. Crews once showed up at a writers’ conference in Vermont “smelling like a bear” after walking there from Georgia.

    Another former student, Lucy Harrison, recalled some students signing up for Mr. Crews’s class more for the spectacle than for instruction.

    “It was kind of odd walking into a class and your professor has this fan club in the class with you,” she said.

    Erik Bledsoe, a former professor of English at the University of Tennessee who has edited two books on Mr. Crews, said: “There’s Harry Crews the persona and Harry Crews the writer, and far too often people mix up that persona with the writing itself. The personality certainly helps to enhance the cult following, but it can overshadow Mr. Crews’s literary achievements.”

    Mr. Crews’s books, he added, “will continue to be read long after Harry Crews the human being is gone.”

    This month, Mr. Crews sold his archives to the University of Georgia for an undisclosed amount. He is still examining his life through his writing.

    “I had an ex-wife and I had an ex-kid and I had an ex-dog and I had an ex-house and I’m an ex-drunk,” Mr. Crews said in the telephone interview. “I’ve supported whores and dopers and drunks and bartenders. Thank God I don’t do that anymore. It’s a bummer of a way to spend your life.”

    “Now I just keep wondering how this life’s going to wind down. It’s time to die, but I don’t feel like dying. I feel good all the time,” he said. “Except when I don’t.”



It seems to me that Crews would get along really well with Jim Harrison.

See for yourself.

August 24, 2006 at 02:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

New Yorker Cover Throw Pillow


Annie Groer's "Home Front" feature in today's Washington Post brings us news that Condé Nast has quietly gone into the home furnishings business, selling throw pillows (above and below) imprinted with the magazine cover print or cartoon of your choice.

The good news: Any image at www.cartoonbank.com can be put on the pillows, which measure 17"W x 14"L x 6"-thick and cost $225 in your choice of 10 colors of leather and $95.99 in faux suede.


If you'd prefer a New Yorker cover, they've "selected ten of our favorite covers that have proven to work very well as pillows."

If you want a different cover, they suggest you call — 800-897-8666 — and discuss alternatives with them.

More information here.


The bad news: You can't order online but instead have to call 800-897-8666.

You can, however, order matted and/or framed prints of covers or cartoons online, at www.condenastart.com.

"Prices range from $125 for a small, matted print to $350 for a large, framed image," wrote Groer.

August 24, 2006 at 01:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack


Al Christensen's blog has surfaced.

Don't abandon all hope; rather, enter.

August 24, 2006 at 12:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Hosen — Episode 2: Pivoting UnReel Garden and Air Hose Hanger/Holder/Dispenser Storage-and-Use System


The item's name and description alone are worth its $7.50 price.

But let's cut to the website for more.

Pivoting UnReel™ Garden and Air Hose Hanger/Holder/Dispenser Storage-and-Use System

The Ultimate Solution for attractive and efficient garden hose (or air hose or bulk cord) storage and use!

The Pivoting UnReel jaw pivots down from its vertical storage position


to pay out just the length required, one smooth loop at a time, with no kinks.

The Pivoting UnReel also pivots side-to-side to feed hose to you wherever you go, making this convenient hose storage system even more so!

After use, you simply return the jaw to its vertical position and feed the hose back into the jaws one loop at a time.


The jaws grip each loop of the hose, preventing tangling and kinking, and The UnReel holds the hose up neatly and out of the way against the wall, fence, or post (mount higher for longer hoses).

The UnReel Hose Hanger System is smartly designed for easy and quick removal (even full) by just lifting the bracket off the anchor bolts for convenient relocation or seasonal storage.

The durable nylon bracket is easily mounted with the hardware and mounting template included.

Frequently Asked Question:

Q. How much hose will my UnReel hold?

A. Unreel Hose Hanging Systems are capable of handling up to 100' of 5/8" or 75' of 3/4" hose when mounted 48" off the ground. Actual capacity depends on the size of the hose (more loops of smaller hoses will fit in the Unreel jaw) and how high off the ground you mount it (high allows larger loops which handles more hose).

In Forest Green, it's $7.50.

In Natural (seen in the photos above and below),


it's $14.95.

[via Marianne Rohrlich's Personal Shopper feature in the August 17 New York Times]

August 24, 2006 at 11:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Apple channels Samuel Beckett


August 24, 2006 at 10:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Banana Slicer


From the website:

    Banana Boat Slicer

    Now small fry can safely slice their own bananas!

    Press the bright yellow plastic Banana Boat down over a peeled banana and voila!

    Up to 18 perfectly uniform slices!

    No sharp edges, no dangerous blades.

    Dishwasher-safe, too!



Small fry?

Count me in, then.

$7.99 (banana not included).

August 24, 2006 at 09:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

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