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August 1, 2006

Reflections on paper cuts


Annoying, aren't they?

They always seem to happen when you're busiest and most frazzled.

Blood everywhere, sometimes on the notarized (with the embossed stamp and all) final copy.

Paper's not the only thing that can hurt you: in the past few months I've opened wounds with a paper plate, a manila file folder and an envelope flap.

Perhaps my memory serves me poorly, but I don't recall getting nearly as many paper-related injuries back in the day as I do now.

Either the paper's getting stiffer and sharper or my skin's becoming more vulnerable.

I suppose that as you get older your skin gets drier, as the various oil- and schmutz-producing cells in your epidermis gradually wind down in preparation for the endless night to come.

But you also lose subdermal collagen and connective tissue (why face-lifts happen) so the skin becomes less taut and more yielding.

You'd think the two would more or less balance out and that paper cuts would remain static in frequency over a lifetime.

But that's clearly not the case, at least with moi.

I'm sure there are many reading this who wince just thinking about their last similar laceration — don't be shy, hear?

Share the pain.

Quick-and-dirty paper cut therapy, as recommended by a board-certified anesthesiologist (hey, joe — you know one? kewl):

1) Scotch tape, masking tape, any kind of tape will shut down the blood flow instanter. Remember to place the tape strip perpendicular to the wound so as to hold the edges together.

2) Krazy Glue. Works great and it's a heckuva lot cheaper than Dermabond (medical-grade Krazy Glue that costs a fortune).

Here's a link to an informative article about how to achieve the best results using Dermabond (read Krazy Glue).

This just in from the crack research team: Elmer's has made it even easier to employ Krazy Glue for medical purposes.

Witness their new single-use tubes (below).


A 4-pack of 1 oz. single-use applicators in the handy storage container pictured above costs $4.29.

August 1, 2006 at 04:01 PM | Permalink


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Good to know. Could haved used this a few days ago.


Black pepper huh? I'm going to have to try that.

Posted by: Neosamurai85 | Aug 1, 2006 10:06:25 PM

I can't believe I'm telling a doctor this, but black pepper will stop bleeding instantly. Surprisingly, it doesn't hurt. I wouldn't use it on big gushing wounds but would use for paper cuts and razor nicks. It's an old wives tale I tried one time after shaving my legs haphazardly. Spider webs are supposed to do the same thing but EEEWWWWW.

Posted by: MamaPajama | Aug 1, 2006 7:10:18 PM

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