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October 5, 2006

Finally — bookofjoe receives a cease-and-desist letter

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It came in at 5:00:38 p.m. EDT yesterday afternoon from the law office of Sandra Lee Lipkin in Agoura Hills, California.

Long letter (above) short: she demands I stop manufacturing and selling the Car Bud Vase (below)

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featured in my post of November 27, 2005.

People need to stop and smell the flower — maybe even read what's there.

I'd be more than happy to stop manufacturing and selling the Car Bud Vase — if I made and sold them.

I'll do anything a lawyer named Sandra Lee Lipkin or my Rice Krispies —not necessarily in that order — want me to.

But wait, there's more!

Attorney Lipkin is not just running up billable hours here for her client, one Jay Markley, owner of U.S. Design Patent No. D447,084 issued on August 28, 2001.

She requests an answer indicating what I'm gonna do within the next thirty (30) days — her boldface, not mine; you can see for yourself right here —

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or else I will be unable to "avoid the initiation of legal proceedings."

Huh.

But wait — there's still more!

At the end of her email conveying the letter shown above in its entirety; not one (1) word has been omitted — it says:

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Why, that letter is "a confidential communication intended only for the identified recipient and may be privileged.... If the reader of this email is not the intended recipient... you are hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution or copy of this communication is strictly prohibited."

Now I've really gone and done it.

I mean, they put Judith Miller of the New York Times in prison for not telling who told her something she never wrote about.

And now Dick Cheney's consigliere, I. Lewis Libby Jr., is running up legal bills in the millions fighting off charges not that he leaked secrets but that he didn't fess up about how it happened.

So you can see how even though it would appear to the ordinary individual that I wouldn't appear to be in any jeopardy from selling the Car Bud Vase since I never have manufactured and/or sold anything — much less a Car Bud Vase — from bookofjoe, now I've messed up by publishing confidential and privileged information such that you — probably not the intended recipient of Attorney Lipkin's letter — have seen it.

Maybe I need to start putting together a legal defense fund.

At least I responded within 30 days.

Heck, by my clock within 16 hours — that oughta count for something, don't you think?

October 5, 2006 at 09:01 AM | Permalink


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Comments

excellent. :)

Posted by: Jeffrey M Foster | Oct 6, 2006 3:11:16 AM

so is your response the web posting or have you actually responded to this?

A similar thing happened to my wife and her friends a couple of years ago, but they wouldn't let me respond they thought i was just going to get myself into trouble (as if I'd do anything of the sort)

Posted by: Gregg | Oct 5, 2006 6:46:33 PM

In the UK it's illegal to maliciously threaten to sue someone. Bet you ain't got anything like that.

Personally I'd just sit back and wait for the fun to start.

Posted by: | Oct 5, 2006 5:28:10 PM

Sir or Madam:

You shock me!
I can just envision your undoubtedly troll-like person hard at work, depravedly fashioning a suction cup, and elongated body with a wrap-around decoration connecting elongated body to said suction cup -- yes, depravedly, feverishly, with your grubby fingers, deep in the bowels of your no doubt smoke-filled, slime-encrusted skunkworks, snorting and drooling away in your vile, corrupt, patent-infringing manner -- to deprive the world of the original car bud vase.
I have removed all phony car bud vases from my vehicle and sprayed the interior with Lysol.

--An Outraged Consumer

Posted by: Flautist | Oct 5, 2006 4:45:22 PM

heeheehee... be careful what you ask for dear joe... the fairies are listening and they try ever so hard to please!

Lawyers... they need to earn their fees somehow!

Posted by: IB | Oct 5, 2006 12:46:16 PM

Can you perhaps send a cease and desist letter to Jay Markley to cease and desist having his lawyer send frivolous cease and desist letters?

Posted by: Josh | Oct 5, 2006 10:53:59 AM

And what does having the little "if you're not the intended recipient" disclaimer at the bottom of outgoing emails mean? NOT A DAMN THING. If that were the case then every machine through which the email has been transferred would have to scour their logs and mailrecords to remove any and all instances of the email headers, body text etc etc. Ridiculous! I really do loathe those disclaimers; shouldn't people who "need" to add those to their emails really just make sure they're sending them to the correct person or - horror of horrors - just make a phone call?

Posted by: KJ | Oct 5, 2006 10:38:17 AM

Jesus Christ! What a nonsense! From that company, that's what I should call a counter-advertising campaign...

Posted by: Pascal.Boulerie | Oct 5, 2006 9:42:52 AM

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