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January 28, 2007

BehindTheMedspeak: Sticks and stones may break your bones — but a doctor who uses these abbreviations can kill you


No joke.

[via the Medical Board of California January 2007 Newsletter]

January 28, 2007 at 10:01 AM | Permalink


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You guys are making Doctor House look like Doctor Kildare.

Posted by: ray | Jan 28, 2007 7:57:11 PM

Oh, and there's a whole load more at wiki...

Posted by: Skipweasel | Jan 28, 2007 4:24:07 PM

Brits use something different...

Glossary of slang used in paediatrics

* Babygram--You try just x raying the abdomen of a 400g neonate
* Cephosplat-- Kills all known germs
* Champagne tap-- Reference to the bottle of bubbly a junior should receive from his consultant after achieving a bloodless lumbar puncture. Now known in the new NHS as a shandy tap
* Crackerjack referral-- It's Friday, it's five to five, it's...
* Double bind trial-- Two orthopods looking at an electrocardiogram
* Fascinoma-- Interesting pathology, but not as interesting as the ensuing politics over who gets first authorship when the case is written up
* FLK--Funny Looking Kid. Would be less useful if "possible dysmorphology" wasn't such a mouthful
* Friday construction--Anatomical correlate of the cars made on Fridays, when the workers mind was more on the weekend than the job in hand.
* JLD--Just Like Dad. Found under FLK once the father appears on the postnatal ward.
* Journal of Anecdotal Paediatrics--Favourite source for ward round pearls of wisdom
* NAD--Not actually done
* NFN: Normal for Norfolk--Used as an explanation for the FLK with no other problems
* Ohno-second--The moment you realise you've dropped that blood sample it took six stabs to get, into the sharps bin
* Paninvestigram--When you haven't got a clue what's going on...
* Parentectomy--Panacea of many paediatric concerns
* Percussive maintenance--Last resort when the ventilator won't work
* Retrospectoscope--Look through it, and you can see you should have given steroids
* Rocking horse stool--Rarer even than hen's teeth
* Rule of five--If more than five orifices are obscured by tubing the patient is considered critical
* Scepticaemia--Chronic condition suffered by anyone involved in the albumin versus saline debate
* Serum rhubarb--What they test for at tertiary centres
* Turf--To get rid of, usually by referring to another team. This may require "buffing" the patient's story to make it sound more appropriate for the patient to be admitted by somebody else. This may result in the patient being "bounced" back if deemed inappropriate. Try getting a 17 year old confused, diabetic school leaver with abdominal pain out of the casualty department and you will understand

Posted by: Skipweasel | Jan 28, 2007 4:23:06 PM

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