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September 24, 2008

Portable Travel Scale — The product from hell


Can you think of a better short descriptor for a device whose seller headlines, "Take your 'conscience' along on your next trip?"

I mean, isn't the whole point of traveling that you can stop at a 7-Eleven on your way from the airport to the hotel and load up with every variety of junk food known to woman (or man) to enjoy in the privacy of your hotel room — where no one can hear you burp?

For me, that typically means an assemblage including — but by no means limited to, and in no particular order — Planter's Honey-Roasted Cashews, M&Ms (both plain and almond), a Three Musketeers, Hostess Twinkies, Pringles Cheddar Cheese, a Kit-Kat, Cheetos, Doritos, Lay's Bar-B-Q potato chips, Snyder's Honey-Mustard Pretzels, et al.

Heck, that's a lot more fun than standing on your little travel scale the next morning to find you've gained 10 pounds overnight.

Enough already, joe — aren't you supposed to be a medical doctor?

Off the reservation, fer shur.

From websites:

Travel Scale


Take your "conscience" along on your next trip.

With so many rich meals on the road, travel can play havoc with your waistline.

But now it's easy to watch your weight wherever you go.

Our compact Travel Scale is small enough to fit in your carry-on bag.

Lightweight and easy to pack, the sides pull apart to reveal a backlit digital display in pounds or kilograms.

It operates on two lithium batteries (included) and comes in a zippered carrying case.

Open: 11½" x 6" x 1".

Closed: 8½" x 6" x 1".

18 oz.



September 24, 2008 at 01:01 PM | Permalink


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LAWD have mercy, a travel scale! Yes, from hell. I can smell the brimstone. Not only should there NOT be scales along on junk-food-enriched travels, there should be rooms available in hotels that don't even have mirrors.

Let's see, if a person was going to bring her body weight scale but decided that it just wasn't enough to maintain optimum health while traveling, and decided to augment it by taking her blood pressure monitor and stethoscope, exercise weights, calorie charts and food scale, exfoliators, colon cleansers, electric tooth scrubbers, douche bags, air-filtering masks, bags of sugar-free fat-free salt-free caffeine-free gluten-free taste-free fiber-enriched food-like groceries -- and so on and so on -- on her vacation or trip with her, maybe it would be easier to just check into a local nursing home or something.

However, all that aside, what I find deeply disturbing is that illustration at the top. On this monitor, at least, the toenails appear a distinctly varnished pink, while at the same time there is some fuzzy -- hairy, if you will -- outgrowth on the legs and tops of the feet, as if some aspects of personal pruning had been recently neglected. Which seems odd, to fret over and vigorously calculate for removal of an ounce of two of pizza weight but to allow other, more immediately detectable flaws in personal appearance to flourish.


Posted by: Flauvoirdupois | Sep 24, 2008 3:49:52 PM

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