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January 31, 2009

World's most technical burger maker — Yesterday's 'What is it?'


So far above my TechnoDolt™ pay grade I gotta wear shades — wait a minute....

From websites:



The simple design features a round base for circular patties and an adjustable clear outer sheath lets you measure and see patty thickness.

Takes the guesswork out of making right-sized, perfectly-shaped patties and turns out uniform bun-sized patties every time.

Once thickness is selected, lock outer ring into place to ensure consistent size.

Place ground meat or fish in cylinder, turn, then dispense patties ready to cook.

Create 1/4 lb., 1/3 lb. or 1/2 lb. patties — easy-to-read measurements.

Now each family member can get the burger size of their choice.

Great for beef, salmon or turkey.

Dishwasher safe plastic.


Product Features

• Adjusts to make big thick 1/2-lb. buffalo burgers, 1/3 lb. salmon patties, or 1/4 lb. burgers

• Roller adjustment dial thickness selector ensures uniform size and shape

• Thickness selector ensures uniform size and shape

• Patties easily dispense for grilling



Wait a minute, joe, what about those of us who like sliders?

What are we, chopped liver?

No, but you're as annoying as that idiot in my med school physiology class who sat in the front row and without fail every Friday afternoon at five o'clock at the end of the lecture, when the professor would ask, "Any questions?" would raise his hand and say, "Yes, there was something that wasn't clear yadda yadda yadda."

If the rest of us had had magical superpowers we'd have vaporized that guy in a UCLA minute.


But I digress.

You slider types are in luck because my crack research team decided to actually do something to justify the enormous salaries they earn: for $4.99 you can buy an Adjust-A-Burger Mini (below)


that'll make "sliders, crab cakes and more."

Now go away.

January 31, 2009 at 11:01 AM | Permalink


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Feh, if it's not hand shaped, it might as well have been frozen.

Posted by: Rocketboy | Jan 31, 2009 1:36:35 PM

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